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on November 5, 2014 · Leave a Comment

Jase 16 Months

One of these times I will actually get Jase’s monthly update up on time. I am now half way between him being 16 months and 17 months, BUT I at least got the pictures the day he hit the 16 month mark. My computer is no more my friends, so my plan to post every day for a month and a lot of other posts kind of got thrown to the side. But more on that later, for now, here is little man’s 16 month update.

Hey Peanut,
Man oh man are you growing. You are learning new words every day. You are finding out that you can have an opinion about things, and you definitely do. Your sense of discovery is at it’s peak, you are just craving to learn so much. I said it last month and I will say it again, this is my favorite stage. There are definitely some hard things about it, but it is still my favorite.
One of you daddy and my favorite memories this month has to be you picking up the word “ta-da!” Your dad, being silly, rolled off the couch did something, raised his hands in the air and shouted “Ta-Da!” Immediately after that you through your hands up in the air and yelled, “Ta-Da!” It has been one of your favorite words since. You never say it without throwing your hands in the air which is my absolute favorite part. 
You are definitely hard to get a picture of. I probably should have re-thought the whole idea of getting you to stand in front of your growth chart every month. I may end up giving up one of these months. You just want to MOVE!
Since the weather has finally been cool enough to hang outside for long periods of time, I have been taking you to the toddler playground at church a lot. YOU LOVE IT! That doesn’t even describe the happiness it brings you. Whenever I walk down there, once I turn the corner you shout “Yea!” and start giggling in excitement. You love going outside and ask for it on a daily basis. I don’t mind, it’s so much fun taking you out every day. We went three times in one day once, you had just as much joy every time. 
I so love being your mama, and I so love watching you grow. I can’t wait to see your personality continue to emerge. Until next month. 
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Filed Under: Family, Ferg Littles, Jase Tagged With: Family, Ferg Littles, Jase, Jase Monthly Update Year 2

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. My ne ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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