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on November 5, 2014 · 2 Comments

I know I’ve Been MIA….

I’ve been a little MIA lately, and I wanted to stop by and tell you hello! I have missed you!

It has not been my choice to be MIA, I had a lot of great posts stirring in mind for the month of October. Just so happens my computer decided to bite the dust…with a virus AND a friend circuit board. I can’t be mad. It served me well. That laptop has lasted me 5+ years and got me through college, the big ol’ heavy dinosaur that it was. So, I would say that was a pretty good life span, but it has left me out of the loop a lot.

Do you know how much you use your computer for? Just trust me, it’s a lot! I realized just how much I depended on that thing the moment I didn’t have it in my possession anymore. I wanted to avoid throwing the money down a new one, because really I just don’t have that kind of money, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. I kind of need it for work. So, I am laptop shopping and going to try to push it off until Black Friday because electronics are usually on sale that day. Here is to hoping!

For now, I smuggle my hubby’s work computer when he gets home whenever I can. I mean, I don’t really smuggle it, he gladly loans it to me. Usually by this time of night, I am done with all thinking though, so I haven’t used it a lot in the evenings. I miss stealing around to write during nap time. It is okay though, I will survive.

I will survive, but I miss you guys! Just know, I am not ignoring your emails, I love you guys, I do! I just do not like using my itty bitty phone for all that and I am computer-less. Hopefully it won’t be much longer…wish me luck on my laptop hunting! Do you have a pretty nice laptop you absolutely love, tell me what it is! Don’t keep it to yourself!

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Comments

  1. Brianna says

    November 5, 2014 at 3:16 PM

    Good to know you're still around, but so sorry about your computer dying! I purchased a Microsoft Surface Pro 3 about two months ago and I am IN LOVE with it! It's a laptop and tablet in one…the best of both worlds! It's lightweight, very portable, and I'm just loving it for all things blogging!

    Brianna
    xobriannaleigh.com

    Reply
  2. Susannah says

    November 5, 2014 at 10:43 PM

    We miss you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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