God moved our family just as we
brought our first child into the world, which was probably the biggest amount
of change that we experienced since being married at one time, that we
experienced since being married. So here we are in an entirely new city and I
decided to stay home. In accepting this new position I no longer had to do home
daycare, I was able to stay home and just focus on being a mother.
brought our first child into the world, which was probably the biggest amount
of change that we experienced since being married at one time, that we
experienced since being married. So here we are in an entirely new city and I
decided to stay home. In accepting this new position I no longer had to do home
daycare, I was able to stay home and just focus on being a mother.
Every ounce of me wanted to be a
stay at home mom, but not one bit of me knew how hard that transition was going
to be. Leaving a job that I loved was so hard, than moving just added on to the
emotional roller coaster I felt during all this change.
stay at home mom, but not one bit of me knew how hard that transition was going
to be. Leaving a job that I loved was so hard, than moving just added on to the
emotional roller coaster I felt during all this change.
No matter how much of me wanted to
be a stay at home mom, it didn’t make that transition as easy as I would have
thought. Going from working all day to staying home all day is an incredibly
lonely environment. There aren’t people coming in and out all day to offer you
company, there aren’t people to stop and talk to on your lunch break, and it’s
just you and a very needy infant. You continue on endless repeat of the same
tasks day to day – nurse, change, naps, clean, repeat. The cycle never ends.
There are not goals for you to reach, deadlines for you to meet, people to tell
you you’re doing a great job, bosses to offer you encouragement, it’s just you
and a baby that can’t say thank you.
be a stay at home mom, it didn’t make that transition as easy as I would have
thought. Going from working all day to staying home all day is an incredibly
lonely environment. There aren’t people coming in and out all day to offer you
company, there aren’t people to stop and talk to on your lunch break, and it’s
just you and a very needy infant. You continue on endless repeat of the same
tasks day to day – nurse, change, naps, clean, repeat. The cycle never ends.
There are not goals for you to reach, deadlines for you to meet, people to tell
you you’re doing a great job, bosses to offer you encouragement, it’s just you
and a baby that can’t say thank you.
Then winter comes and you have to
stay inside even more. The sun isn’t shining through the windows. It’s cold and
your mood can feel much like the weather does outside. You had those days too
when you worked, the days that you just felt slower than usual. Those days
seems longer and even lonelier when you seem to be taking them in alone at
home.
stay inside even more. The sun isn’t shining through the windows. It’s cold and
your mood can feel much like the weather does outside. You had those days too
when you worked, the days that you just felt slower than usual. Those days
seems longer and even lonelier when you seem to be taking them in alone at
home.
This transition was incredibly hard
for me. As much as I loved being home with my son and as much as I knew it was
the best place for me to be, it was the hardest. I had never felt so lonely as
I did in those moments, in those first few months. I just wanted to feel like I
was accomplishing something. I wanted to know that I was making a difference. I
wanted to know I was reaching goals or completing deadlines. I wanted that
sense of achievement. I wanted that sense of community. I felt so bad for
feeling this way, I felt so alone in my thoughts, it just caused me to wonder
even more if I had misheard God and that maybe I wasn’t cut out for being a
stay at home mom.
for me. As much as I loved being home with my son and as much as I knew it was
the best place for me to be, it was the hardest. I had never felt so lonely as
I did in those moments, in those first few months. I just wanted to feel like I
was accomplishing something. I wanted to know that I was making a difference. I
wanted to know I was reaching goals or completing deadlines. I wanted that
sense of achievement. I wanted that sense of community. I felt so bad for
feeling this way, I felt so alone in my thoughts, it just caused me to wonder
even more if I had misheard God and that maybe I wasn’t cut out for being a
stay at home mom.
Then I did what I should have done
from the start and I reached out to someone and told her how hard it was. To my
surprise she responded back saying she had totally been there and felt
everything I was feeling at that very moment. Staying home with kids is lonely.
Staying home with kids can feel like you’re never accomplishing anything. You
can’t always see the difference day to day like you can when you stand back and
look over the last few months. There aren’t measurable accomplishments in front
of you everyday (unless you count that the kids are still alive). Staying home,
no matter how much you know it’s the best place for you to be, and how much you
wanted for that possibility, it is really hard.
from the start and I reached out to someone and told her how hard it was. To my
surprise she responded back saying she had totally been there and felt
everything I was feeling at that very moment. Staying home with kids is lonely.
Staying home with kids can feel like you’re never accomplishing anything. You
can’t always see the difference day to day like you can when you stand back and
look over the last few months. There aren’t measurable accomplishments in front
of you everyday (unless you count that the kids are still alive). Staying home,
no matter how much you know it’s the best place for you to be, and how much you
wanted for that possibility, it is really hard.
You may think, this is what I asked
for so I shouldn’t be having such a hard time. You may think, I know this is
the place for me without a doubt, so there should be no reason this is hard. I
thought those things too. Here is what I learned this year though, being at
home is a great place to be. Pouring into those kids, raising those children up
in the way that God is calling you to, that is a very godly place to be. When
you are home raising those kids, the enemy isn’t too happy about that. He doesn’t
want you at home. The enemy does not want you mothering those children, so you
know what he does? He makes you feel isolated. He makes you feel like you aren’t
accomplishing anything. He makes you feel like this isn’t the right place for
you. Why? Because he knows that it is the best place for you. So it’s time that
you step up and speak life over yourself in those moments that you feel like
you aren’t cut out for this. You look around you to build community. You sing
worship over your household. You stand tall and know that you may not see
anything today, but one day you will know that where you spent you day is
exactly where you needed to be.
for so I shouldn’t be having such a hard time. You may think, I know this is
the place for me without a doubt, so there should be no reason this is hard. I
thought those things too. Here is what I learned this year though, being at
home is a great place to be. Pouring into those kids, raising those children up
in the way that God is calling you to, that is a very godly place to be. When
you are home raising those kids, the enemy isn’t too happy about that. He doesn’t
want you at home. The enemy does not want you mothering those children, so you
know what he does? He makes you feel isolated. He makes you feel like you aren’t
accomplishing anything. He makes you feel like this isn’t the right place for
you. Why? Because he knows that it is the best place for you. So it’s time that
you step up and speak life over yourself in those moments that you feel like
you aren’t cut out for this. You look around you to build community. You sing
worship over your household. You stand tall and know that you may not see
anything today, but one day you will know that where you spent you day is
exactly where you needed to be.
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Renee says
i enjoyed reading your story! i have wanted to be a stay at home mom and so far God hasn't answered that prayer for me–but he did allow me to be a work (mostly) from home mom, and that has been a blessing! i still hope that one day i'll get to be 100% at home–it is a struggle to balance my work and my kids, especially when i have to work during naptimes and bedtimes!–but for now i am grateful for what i have!
Amy Will says
Wow… this post made me tear up. Especially this part:
"The enemy does not want you mothering those children, so you know what he does? He makes you feel isolated. He makes you feel like you aren’t accomplishing anything. He makes you feel like this isn’t the right place for you."
I have been staying at home for almost a year and a half now and has it ever been an emotional battle! Staying at home has been harder than I expected because of the feelings of isolation and the feeling of having no value in my job title anymore. It's so sad that Satan has de-valued motherhood in this way!!! I know that my job in raising our children is immeasurably more important than my job in corporate america, but it is hard to weed out the lies from the truth some days!
Thank you for sharing your experience with being a SAHM! Despite the challenges that being a new SAHM has presented, the blessings are absolutely beyond anything I could have expected, too. Even on those tough days, God does reassure me that this is where He wants me – all I need to do is listen to His voice!
Amy @ http://www.livinglifetruth.com/