Pacifier weaning is a milestone no parent with a toddler who loves their binky looks forward to. Unfortunately, the day must come when weaning from the pacifier has to happen. Making pacifier weaning fun can be possible, and it can help make it a much smoother process.
Every one of my children have loved their pacifiers. Jase was one of the biggest pacifier babies from the moment he came out and it took us awhile to figure out that we would never sleep if we didn’t just allow him to have it. Thankfully, when it came to wean Jase and Elyse from the pacifier it was the easiest process ever. I literally forgot to give it to Jase one day for nap, he went straight to sleep, so I decided at bedtime to do the same thing. He asked for it, I told him it was gone, closed the door and he was fine. Elyse moved to a toddler bed at 21 months and when she asked for her paci that night I told her big girl bed meant big girl no paci! She looked at me funny, but laid down and went straight to bed. They were both right at that two age and I could not have imagined it going that well. Jude, however, was 2.5 when I finally got to the point where I could wean him from the pacifier and I knew that his attachment had definitely grown. Possibly due to the fact that Jude was older, I knew weaning from the pacifier was going to be a bit more complicated, and probably include tears.
Gentle Pacifier Weaning
I believe that the best approach to milestones with our kids is to be as gentle as possible. As an adult, it’s not always easy to see the importance of something like a pacifier to our toddler, but in their little minds it’s a big deal. A pacifier can be a huge comfort for a toddler and that isn’t a problem at all! But there is a time when weaning from the pacifier becomes necessary. The more gradual you can begin the process, the better. Setting yourself up in stages for weaning in advance is always helpful.
We begin the pacifier weaning process at a year old. At a year old we transition to only having the pacifier for sleep times, nap and bed. Occasionally it will be allowed in the car as well, particularly for long drives or days full of errands. Pacifiers are kept out of reach and put away until being tucked into bed. There are definitely moments during the day where each of my children have asked for their pacifier, particularly if they had gotten hurt, but I would redirect them as best I could to cope another way. This begins the process of breaking the attachment. During times that they were sick, this rule would definitely be bent a little depending on their behavior through the sickness. But once we were over it, it went right back to how it was. This process was a very gradual process as it would be almost a full year before they would say goodbye to the pacifier completely!
Make Pacifier Weaning Fun
My intention was to wait for Jude’s transition into his big boy bed to do the same concept as we did with Elyse when taking it away completely. This move just took longer for Jude since we were building their beds from scratch (stay tuned for more on that soon!). Before I knew it, he had approached 2.5 and developed a pretty good attachment to sleeping with his pacifiers. In fact, he needed two every night, one for him to hold and one for his mouth. He would not sleep without both.
When his big boy bed was finally finished, I let him sleep in the bed one night with his pacifier. I told him the next day it would be time to give our pacifiers to the little babies. Before I continue, I will stop here for a second. Don’t use this idea if it won’t work with your child. Jude LOVES babies. He constantly talks about them. He interacts with them and loves to hold them. Giving pacifiers to babies was a big deal to him. He was extremely excited about the idea. I didn’t want to relate it to his baby sister, so we used his baby cousin instead. He didn’t really react much to what I said, but I knew the day needed to be a big deal.
Provide a New Comfort Item
The next day we dropped the big kids off at school and I told Jude we would head off to a big surprise! We headed to our local Build A Bear to build what we now call his “Paci Bear!” Build A Bear is awesome and many locations have done this before. Jude picked out a special bear and when it came time to stuff him, we added his special pacifiers in there with it. Jude was giving Paci Bear his pacifiers to be kept safe. He was really excited about this! He kept saying over and over how happy his bear was to have them. The staff was great and went right along with it.
Nap Time – No Pacifier
First nap without a pacifier….non existent. When I laid him down and told him he asked immediately for his pacifier. I gave him Paci Bear and told him they were safe inside there and the Paci Fairy would come for the rest later! That was not the answer he wanted. We had a lot of tears. I laid down with him for 15-20 minutes just to calm him down. But he continued to ask for his pacifiers and me being in there wasn’t helping. So I told him to lay down and rest and I would be back later. If he rested he could have a treat when he woke up. Once I left the crying continued. He wasn’t screaming, so I knew he would be okay. I hoped he would fall asleep. After 10-15 minutes he calmed down and ended up playing in his room the entire nap. Not exactly what I had hoped for, but it was better than crying the entire time.
Bedtime – No Pacifier
When it came time for bed, I told him it was time to put the rest of his pacifiers in a bag for the paci fairy. I told him she was going to come and pick the pacifiers up and take them to all the little babies and he could see tomorrow. She would also bring a special prize for him if he went to sleep. We left all of these by the door and tucked him in for bed. No tears! Getting all the tears out at nap time helped. He played around for longer than usual, talked to himself, rolled around, but finally fell asleep in about 15 minutes. He slept perfectly all night, I am sure due to no nap that day. Then when he woke up we went straight to the gifts the Paci Fairy left him. This was a big hit!
An even better hit was the pictures of babies with pacifiers. I asked on Facebook for friends to send us pictures of their little babies under a year old with pacifiers, especially if they were blue or green. And I made sure to get some pictures of our little niece. I showed him all the pictures the next day and it was his favorite part. Whenever he had a moment that he asked where his pacifier went, I reminded him it went to the babies, and he would ask to the see the pictures. He asked multiple times to see the pictures of the babies that first week so this became super helpful for him. He did ask at nap for the pacifier for a couple days, we reminded him they were gone, and he would just lay there and go to sleep. He did nap the second day and on, it was only the first day that it caused an issue. We continued to remind him Paci Bear was there to keep him company and hold his pacifiers close, and the babies were so happy to have them.
Keep the Process Happy
This was the key to our success. I know as parents we dread taking the pacifier away and we worry about all the tears. I was very careful not to show any emotions throughout the process, even when he cried. I made sure he didn’t see me think of this milestone as sad. I jumped for joy with him when we built our bear. I made the pictures of the babies seem over the top exciting. I told him he was such a big boy and the babies were so happy with their new pacifiers. I made it seem like it was the coolest thing ever and the Paci Fairy was extra fun! I apparently did such a good job his sister wanted to know where her Paci Bear was…oops.
The more fun the process was, the more he smoothed through each stage. If you make it fun, kids will catch on and they will see that this can be a good thing!! In just 48 hours Jude was completely weaned from his pacifier with no more tears at nap or bed!
The most important thing to remember when weaning from the pacifier is that every kid is different. Be sure to evaluate their stage and attachment. Some may smoothly sail right through taking it away instantly. Others may need a little bit more encouragement through the process. I do think the closer to two years of age that you can wean from the pacifier, the better. I think the attachment definitely grew from 2 to 2.5 with Jude making it need a little more encouragement. But it wasn’t as dreadful as I was worried it would be at all, and I believe the element of fun made a huge difference!!
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