Motherhood can be really lonely. Relationships as an adult, especially as a mom who stays home every day with young children, are really hard. I picture it a lot like dating. You come across this mom at the mall play area, at church, or at Chick-Fil-A and you strike up a conversation. You think, this could really be a good friendship, so when you leave you friend her on Facebook. You wait in anticipation to see if she approves your request or if you totally just creeped her out and she is running the other direction. Hopefully, she went with the first option. So then, you’re friends on Facebook. But what’s next? You might try to set up a few play dates, but you don’t want to seem too desperate. But you also don’t want to risk the chance of never running into her again. See where I get this whole dating thing? Making friends is totally like dating.

Motherhood can be so very lonely. Day in and day out you spend time changing diapers, making meals, cleaning up from meals, and repeating it all over and over. There isn’t much time to get out and meet new friends. There isn’t much time to even hang out with the friends you do have. You spend all day with no breathing room away from your children, yet you still feel completely alone. You just want someone who understands, someone that you can talk to when the toddler is on his fifth tantrum of the day. You want someone who can help you pass the time by when you’re rocking a teething baby. You want someone who can tell you that your worries aren’t crazy or that you aren’t alone. You just don’t want to be alone.

I get it, I really do. We were not meant to do life alone.

I’ve been there, in tears sitting on my couch wondering how I can never find time away from my kids to breathe, yet I feel so very alone. I’ve been there wondering how loneliness can leave such a weight on me and leave me feeling so discouraged. I’ve cried the same tears. I have been there wondering how to take those relationships from “Hey, I just met you at Chick-Fil-A” to “Let’s get real and do life together.” I’ve wanted that too, friend, I still do. You aren’t alone.

I know motherhood can be lonely.

I wish I had the answer for your heart mama, I really do. I wish I could tell you how to cure that heart of loneliness and how to feel like you belong. But I don’t have the answers. I don’t have the three steps that can help motherhood not be so lonely. But I can tell you that you aren’t alone. I can tell you that you aren’t the only mama who feels this way. I can tell you that the lonely days will be worth it, even though they are hard. I can tell you that you will get through this. There is a purpose in the lonely days. These days hold value even when it feels like they don’t.

Don’t give up mama. Keep reaching out to that mom you met at the park. Keep putting yourself out there for the glimpse of relationship on the other side. Be a friend to others even if no one is a friend back. One day it won’t be so lonely, mama. One day your season will change. But for now, you aren’t alone, even if you feel like you are, you’re not.

We are in this together, the lonely days and all.