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on August 7, 2015 · Leave a Comment

Elyse 4 Months

I am trying to pretend that if I refuse to believe this girl is already four months then time will slow down. I am pretty sure time just isn’t on my side. It’s so incredibly different the second time around. You know how fast it goes, so you don’t rush every little thing. Instead you find yourself wishing all those things back. I can’t believe just four short months ago this little miss was a squishy newborn curled up in my arms. Now she loves to play and wiggle around and roll on the floor. I love this new stage, but time sure does go by too fast for this mama.
I can already see in so many ways how she is different than her big brother. Elyse is a much easier baby, but she loves her mama. She doesn’t take to new people as well. When she is getting passed around at church as often as ministry kids do you can always find her looking for her mama. And unless she knows who is holding her really well, if she hears her mamas voice that’s who she wants. She is such a good baby, but she definitely loves her familiarity. I think where Jase is the spitting image of my personality, Elyse is going to fall in between her daddy and I as a happy medium. She loves her familiarity and what she knows, but she also likes to be in on the action and a part of what is going on. We often find her doing crunches wherever she is in the house so she can see what we are doing, more specifically what her big brother is doing. She just can’t wait to be in on all that action. This girl also LOVES to talk. She just chats away while she’s awake and makes the sweetest sounds. Jase loves her talking and thinks it is quite amusing. 
Isn’t it so crazy how you can already see their personality blooming at such a young age?
Elyse still rolls tummy to back and is so close to rolling back to tummy. Her bumbo is her favorite thing right now because it allows her to be up and seeing what’s going on. She’s holding toys and grabbing for things constantly. She also ALWAYS has her hands in her mouth. She laughs when you pull her hands away from her mouth to get her dressed, probably the only baby I have ever known to laugh while getting clothes on. She even laughs during some diaper changes. She truly is such a sweetheart.
Miss Elyse, I can’t even remember what our life was like without you. I already feel like our world is a whole lot sweeter with you in it. I am loving watching your personality blossom. I am loving even more watching your already apparent love for your big brother. It melts my heart every time you smile at him. One of my forever favorite things about you is that you smile with your eyes. Every time you are filled with joy, it isn’t just seen in your smile, but it is seen head to toe. May you always be filled with that much joy baby girl.

Until next month…

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Filed Under: Elyse, Family, Ferg Littles Tagged With: Monthly Update

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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