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on February 20, 2015 · Leave a Comment

What I Need to Believe More

The Gospel is such an overwhelming topic when you really think about it – and I mean when you really sit down and think about the massiveness of what the Gospel is to us. Our Pastor recently dove into the concept of Grace and how easily we take it for granted. We don’t realize just how big and powerful the grace of God really is. We expect it, we know it comes with the territory of becoming a Christian, it’s just another part of our faith. But do we realize that without it there really is no us and God? It’s such a humbling thought.

A question in our small group after this sermon was, “What do you really need to believe more about the Gospel?” What a weighty question, isn’t it? The Gospel is so full of promises that we can’t even begin to wrap our minds around understanding. So what about the Gospel, what Has God said in the pages of His word that I need to believe more?

Then it hit me.

I need to believe that God is for me. I need to believe that He is really for me. God wants for me to prosper, He wants for me to succeed, He desires for my dreams to come true, He longs to meet my every need, He desires to see good come out of my life and not evil. I know those promises are in His word. I know that things can get difficult, and I know life can throw curve balls, but even in those moments God desires to see me prosper. I know these things, I know all the promises, I know they are there – but I am not so sure I really believe them in my heart. If I really truly believed that God was for me I wouldn’t live in constant worry of my needs being met. I wouldn’t fear the worst possible things that could happen to my family. If I really believed that God was for me I would trust that in this life He would take care of me. The good and the bad would be for my good, to prosper me, to grow me, to make into the woman that God has destined for me to be. He really is for me and my heart should find rest

Then the question, “How are you going to do that?” followed. That I couldn’t answer. I don’t know. I imagine it’s a daily reminder, where I remind myself that God truly is for me. I imagine that every day I will believe it in my heart even more. God really truly is for me. He loves me and I am His child and that is all it takes. It’s overwhelming and it’s wonderful.

What do you need to believe more in God’s word? What promises of His do you need to believe in your heart?

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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