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on January 16, 2015 · 4 Comments

What If….

what-if

 

I might possibly be writing this post because I need the reminder myself.

It’s no surprise to those of you who have followed along in this journey with me for sometime now that I am a huge worrier. I have talked about my tendency to worry on the blog numerous times. When anything seems uncertain financially, I tend to go on this whirlwind of “what ifs” as I stress myself out realizing all the options I have to fix it, won’t really work. When it comes to being a wife, and especially since becoming a mother, I can come up with the worst possible things that can happen to my family when I am not around. I could probably win some sort of reward for being the queen of “what ifs.” I am that good. Seriously.

But, what if I could change the things I “what if” about? (Like what I did there? Or did I lose you? Hang on, it’s coming). What if instead of thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong, what if I switched to thinking about all the things that could go right?

What if when I feel like we are drowning in bills and expenses for the month, instead of dwelling on the thought that we won’t make it, or we will never pay off the credit card, or we will never afford to get Elyse all the clothes she needs…what if I dwelt on the possibility of the miracle? What if someone blesses us with an amazing start to the supply of clothes we need for our baby girl? What if we some how manage to pay that unexpected bill and still afford groceries for the week? What if a blessing comes through and I didn’t even have to worry about it at all?

What if I could stop wasting time coming up with all the things that could go wrong, and focus on the fact that there’s a hundred things that could go right?

I can’t count the number of times everything has worked out, and I look back and realize how much time I wasted worrying about everything that could go wrong. Even crazier, not a single one of those things I thought about happened!

So, what if today I replaced every negative what if, with a positive what if? I wonder what could happen then.

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Filed Under: Anxiety, Faith Tagged With: Anxiety, Faith

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Comments

  1. Nikki Stevens says

    January 16, 2015 at 3:08 PM

    It sounds like you are already on the road to losing the "what if" mentality! Keeping in mind the many times that things have worked out is a great start.

    Reply
  2. Faith says

    January 17, 2015 at 12:19 AM

    This was beautiful. I really needed that reminder.
    God bless you<3

    Reply
  3. Susannah says

    January 19, 2015 at 7:00 PM

    What a beautiful reminder! I tend to worry too but I love your call to change the way we think!

    Reply
  4. Andie Williams says

    January 23, 2015 at 4:39 PM

    This is such an inspiring and encouraging post! Thank you so much for sharing (:

    Visiting from http://andieconn.com

    Reply

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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