Breastfeeding my baby was extremely important to me. I knew it was the best thing that I could do for him. The benefits it would bring to his health and knowing that I could do that was incredible. A lot of people told me that it was a lot harder than they thought, so I mentally prepared myself for that. I knew it was going to be difficult, so hopefully that would help me be prepared through the learning curve. I figured that it helped me not have any false expectations about the process being incredibly easy.

It was tough. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I did not expect it to be as tough as it was. It was about an hour before I was even able to nurse Jase due to a C-Section and feeling incredibly sick afterwards. When the time came, Jase wouldn’t latch. I tried, and tried, and tried again with no luck at all. We figured maybe he was just a little tired, and we would try again later. A couple hours later, we tried again. No luck. A couple hours later, we tried again. No luck. After a few tries and no progress, the nurses gave him about a tablespoon of formula from a cup because he needed to have something. By this time, I was feeling a little discouraged. Breastfeeding my baby was so important to me and I couldn’t even get him to latch.

The next day I asked for the lactation consultants to come by to help with the process. Cradling Jase was incredibly uncomfortable in the beginning because of my C-Section, so they helped me master a football hold which made a huge difference. Then we tried to get him to latch again, and there was just no luck. So they gave me a shield and he latched on right away! They told me I shouldn’t need to use it forever, just until he was able to start latching better.

The first couple days we were home I literally felt like a feeding machine. Feedings took so long in the beginning, and because they were happening so frequently, I felt like that was all I was doing. I planted myself on the couch with some pillows and loads of burp cloths and fed the baby every three hours. Now, don’t take this as complaining. Yes, I definitely felt like all I was doing all day was feeding the baby, and it was going to take some getting used to, but it wasn’t terrible. I was tired and still having to use the shield, but it wasn’t a huge deal at the time.

Then my milk came in. That was an entirely new story. It was incredibly painful for me, and I was not expecting that. I didn’t have a pump at the time either, so there was nothing I could do to relieve the pain. I just continued nursing. Then about a week later, I came down with a 104 fever. After freaking out thinking it was related to the C-Section, we discovered that I had come down with Mastitis. If you have ever had Mastitis you know how painful it can be. Mastitis is an infection you can get while breastfeeding and is caused by a clogged milk duct. Clogged milk ducts happen when the baby isn’t draining the breast completely. Jase was a sleepy feeder – he almost always fell asleep during a nursing session. I would have to undress him to get him to wake up and finish eating most times. So then nursing became incredibly painful. I had a manual pump from the hospital and I had to push through the pain and have my husband help me use that to help me empty the breasts after his feedings. All privacy goes out the door when having a baby and makes room for awkward. You get used to it, though.

So, at this point I was completely discouraged that I had caught an infection. I was super discouraged that I couldn’t get my child to latch without the shield. I had continued using it, but would always try to get him to latch without it too. Multiple times he would, and I would be so relieved, and then the next time he wouldn’t latch again. Mixed in with post-partum hormones, breastfeeding was an emotional experience for me at first. I remember thinking I have no idea how I am going to make it to a year because this is terrible. It is painful, I am sick, and I cannot get my child to latch.

But, I was determined. I didn’t want to give up because I knew that I would regret it if I did. I continued to keep pushing through. I cried a lot, because it was hard. I cried at times because it was painful. But we got through. After about another week the infection had cleared up and my milk production was slowing down to match his eating. After about three weeks Jase had gotten the hang of nursing without the shield. Things were going a lot better. We hit another snag around the time Jase was two months old. I had been giving him bottles twice a week, during church, so that I didn’t have to leave to nurse when we were just getting started at a new ministry job. Jase had gotten so used to the bottles that when I would try to nurse him, he would get lazy and scream. He refused to latch on and work for his food because it wasn’t as easy as the bottle. So I had to do a bottle strike. I refused to give him a bottle until we got into a good nursing pattern again.

This was just as hard as the latching issue we had in the beginning. He would scream and cry during feedings until he was hungry enough to latch on and eat. Sometimes it took a couple minutes, sometimes it took ten. During this time we discovered he had a bit of a reflux problem, and had to get him on medicine for that. Within a month it had greatly improved. I continued to keep working with him to nurse, and after about two months we had fallen back into a good nursing pattern. I was able to introduce the bottle again and easily go between the two.

There have been a few hiccups in our breastfeeding journey, but I am so glad that I pushed through. Now, at almost nine months, I absolutely love that I have chosen to breastfeed my son. It was hard, but I was determined to push through because it was something I really wanted to do. Now I am saying something I never thought I would, I truly enjoy it. Sure, nursing in public is always a little awkward. I usually opt for a dressing room or the car, especially now since my child likes to move around like crazy under a cover. And you usually find yourself planning your days around your babies eating schedule, but it really is no big deal. You adjust to it, and later think nothing of it. It really is wonderful nursing your baby and I wouldn’t trade it for a thing.

You will need one, and I know it is such a pain to have to invest that much money, but it is worth it. When your milk comes in, having a pump will greatly help you to avoid catching an infection. Plus, it is nice to have all those first days milk on hand for antibodies if your baby catches a cold later. It is also nice for date nights! It truly is worth it! You don’t have to have an expensive one, but I definitely recommend investing in a good electric one. This is the one I have.

You will have a lot of questions, and sometimes you may feel discouraged. Take advantage of your hospital lactations consultants, find a support group, or find a friend. Finding a mama friend who I could turn to with questions helped a ton! (I would love to help you if you have questions too, just shoot me an email!)

This is probably the most important because it can affect your milk supply. Do not stress! You are a new mom, you have a new baby, and you both will need to learn. Some of you will catch on right away without a single problem. Some of you may have some bumps at first, but you can make it through if you don’t give up.

If this is something you really want to do, push through. I know that some women cannot due to milk supply or other health reasons, and I totally understand. But if that isn’t stopping you, and it is something you really want, then don’t give up. If it is stressing you out too much, and you just feel like you need to stop, then don’t feel bad. Sometimes it is just better for you not to be stressed out and overwhelmed and unhappy, you are a better mom when you’re not.

I totally want to encourage you. If this is something you want to do, don’t give up! It is a learning experience like everything in motherhood. Know that you aren’t alone in learning.