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on October 16, 2013 · Leave a Comment

Seemingly Small Moments

small-momentsIt was around this time last year that I found out I was pregnant. Wow. I can’t believe it’s been a year already. I feel so emotional about it. I keep wanting to just burst into tears about what God has done in the past year. I am just so incredibly blessed.

October 13, 2012 I took a pregnancy test and completely expected it to be negative, and it wasn’t. One day later and one more test and I was telling my husband he was going to be a dad. (You can read that story here).  My pregnancy was amazing. I wasn’t incredibly sick all the time, I wasn’t completely uncomfortable through it all, it had it’s moments but for the most part I was really blessed. My labor didn’t go the way I had expected it to, but it didn’t matter at that point in time because I was so ready to meet my sweet baby boy I didn’t care how he got here as long as he was healthy.

I have been reminiscing all day about the past year. God has done so much in my life in just a year.

I mean He always works in my life, and I always want to be different today then I was a year ago. But today I just feel extra different. My life doesn’t look at all like it did a year ago, I’m a mom now. How crazy is that? My husband and I are leading a ministry. Whoa! Can you say dream come true?

All the while God created a little miracle inside of me, He created a miracle within our life. He took two unworthy, messed up people and said “I am calling you to be parents. I am calling you to lead a ministry. I am calling the two of you because I have great things for you.” It’s incredible.

A year ago, I never would have saw myself sitting where I am right now. I could never have dreamed of the plan that unfolded in our lives. I feel closer to my husband than I ever have before. We have a sweet little boy who has brought us so much joy. We are leading a ministry TOGETHER which is something we only dreamed of doing.

It’s so encouraging to sit back and look at all that God has done in your life over the past year. It’s proof that God is changing you inside and out, creating you to be who He has called you to be and fulfill all He has called you to do. God just asked for us to trust Him every step of the way, even when we didn’t know what tomorrow was going to bring we embraced all that He was doing in our lives. When being a parent scared us, when praying about a decision to move scared us, when the unknown scared us – we just needed to trust Him.

Today I sit back and remember the precious memories that filled this past year. I remember finding out I was pregnant, that I was going to be a mom and never imagining that it could feel as amazing as it does. I remember the journey my husband and I went through in deciding to move, what a faith walk. And I remember everything in between, every seemingly small moment that shaped us and molded us to be where we are today. Remembering how those seemingly every day moments played a huge part in where I am today.

 

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Filed Under: Family, Ferg Littles, Jase Tagged With: Life, pregnancy

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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