Today I am just going to be real. I’m going to be downright
vulnerable in this space. I’m going to open myself up and really let you know
where I come from.
My family is very broken.
Broken is the only way I know how to describe it. My mom and
my dad were never married when they had me, and I didn’t officially meet my dad
until my seventh birthday. He was around for a short time when I was a baby,
but not long enough for me to remember him at that age. I actually spent the
first couple years living with my mom’s dad and girlfriend. My mom was training
for the military and trying to get on her feet to have me move out to Hawaii
with her. Some of my earliest memories don’t even include my mother, because I
didn’t live with her. The earliest memories I remember of my mom weren’t the
greatest. I remember sitting in AA meetings and I remember boyfriends.
my dad were never married when they had me, and I didn’t officially meet my dad
until my seventh birthday. He was around for a short time when I was a baby,
but not long enough for me to remember him at that age. I actually spent the
first couple years living with my mom’s dad and girlfriend. My mom was training
for the military and trying to get on her feet to have me move out to Hawaii
with her. Some of my earliest memories don’t even include my mother, because I
didn’t live with her. The earliest memories I remember of my mom weren’t the
greatest. I remember sitting in AA meetings and I remember boyfriends.
My mom came from a difficult background. She was out of the
house at a very young age and on her own. Drugs and alcohol were a part of her
life for a long time. But when she had me, she felt like it was time for her
second chance. It was time to get her life together. Most of my early years I
remember my mom working hard to get her life together. She got saved when I was
seven years old; actually we both got baptized on the same day. It was such a beautiful
memory, more for her than me. Things didn’t change right away; she was more
trying to figure out what Christianity meant to her.
house at a very young age and on her own. Drugs and alcohol were a part of her
life for a long time. But when she had me, she felt like it was time for her
second chance. It was time to get her life together. Most of my early years I
remember my mom working hard to get her life together. She got saved when I was
seven years old; actually we both got baptized on the same day. It was such a beautiful
memory, more for her than me. Things didn’t change right away; she was more
trying to figure out what Christianity meant to her.
I went to live with my dad for a few years when I was about
ten. Living with him was very different then living with my mom. My dad
seemingly had everything together. He was very successful in his own business
and he had a good amount of money. I was doing really well with him for awhile.
Then things started to change with him. He didn’t seem to be himself, he didn’t
seem healthy. Things just weren’t right. I went home to visit my mom for the
summer and quickly learned that I would not be returning to be with my dad. My
dad was heavily addicted to some pretty rough drugs. That’s not exactly an environment
a young girl should be living in.
ten. Living with him was very different then living with my mom. My dad
seemingly had everything together. He was very successful in his own business
and he had a good amount of money. I was doing really well with him for awhile.
Then things started to change with him. He didn’t seem to be himself, he didn’t
seem healthy. Things just weren’t right. I went home to visit my mom for the
summer and quickly learned that I would not be returning to be with my dad. My
dad was heavily addicted to some pretty rough drugs. That’s not exactly an environment
a young girl should be living in.
I wanted to give you a little glimpse into my past so you
would know where I’m at today.
would know where I’m at today.
My mom is a miracle in itself. If you were to meet her
today, you would never believe what she has come out of. She has an amazing
testimony (which I am not here to tell you, maybe she will grace this space
with it herself one day) that leads to where she is today. She married my
step-dad when she was a young Christian, and didn’t really know what it meant
with being “unequally yoked.” Her and my step-dad are walking through some
tough times right now and have been separated for a couple months. My
biological dad is still in my life, and I love him very much, but I haven’t
seen him in a long time. There is no way to know where he is right now with the
drugs, but I do pray for him often.
today, you would never believe what she has come out of. She has an amazing
testimony (which I am not here to tell you, maybe she will grace this space
with it herself one day) that leads to where she is today. She married my
step-dad when she was a young Christian, and didn’t really know what it meant
with being “unequally yoked.” Her and my step-dad are walking through some
tough times right now and have been separated for a couple months. My
biological dad is still in my life, and I love him very much, but I haven’t
seen him in a long time. There is no way to know where he is right now with the
drugs, but I do pray for him often.
You see, when people ask me what my story is, what my family
is like, or how I came to where I am now, it’s no easy answer. My mom is the
first to come to know Jesus in her family, so beyond that is just a very broken
family. When people ask how many siblings I have, that’s an even more
complicated answer. “Well, I have three with my mom, but none of them have the
same dad as me. One has a different dad, and the other two share a dad. And
then I have a step-sister with my step-dad who I have met once. Oh and then I
have a brother with my biological dad who I’ve only seen three times in his
entire life.” See, no easy answer there.
is like, or how I came to where I am now, it’s no easy answer. My mom is the
first to come to know Jesus in her family, so beyond that is just a very broken
family. When people ask how many siblings I have, that’s an even more
complicated answer. “Well, I have three with my mom, but none of them have the
same dad as me. One has a different dad, and the other two share a dad. And
then I have a step-sister with my step-dad who I have met once. Oh and then I
have a brother with my biological dad who I’ve only seen three times in his
entire life.” See, no easy answer there.
My husband’s family is a lot less crazy. His dad is really
into family trees and looking back in the history of their family, their family
has little branches, and even less branches that just stop. If you were to try
and complete my family tree, there would be many hanging branches just on their
own, some which lead to no answers because of how lost and broken my family is.
Even more would lead to a stop because that line just ends.
into family trees and looking back in the history of their family, their family
has little branches, and even less branches that just stop. If you were to try
and complete my family tree, there would be many hanging branches just on their
own, some which lead to no answers because of how lost and broken my family is.
Even more would lead to a stop because that line just ends.
Before today, when people asked me what my family was like,
I didn’t mind telling them. It always opened the door for a huge testimony.
Many people were surprised at how I was standing here today wanting nothing
more but to serve an Almighty God. Even more surprised that I could even say
that God is good. My past and my family’s past are just a picture of what God
can do in the lives of those who commit to serving Him.
I didn’t mind telling them. It always opened the door for a huge testimony.
Many people were surprised at how I was standing here today wanting nothing
more but to serve an Almighty God. Even more surprised that I could even say
that God is good. My past and my family’s past are just a picture of what God
can do in the lives of those who commit to serving Him.
But today I have a son. I have a son that one day is going
to grow up and ask why he doesn’t have a grandpa on my side. He’s going to ask
why the people I call family are mostly friends of my mom who have been in our
lives forever. He’s going to notice that mom’s family doesn’t quite look like
dad’s family – we’re a lot smaller. He’ll have my mom, and my three siblings
that live with her, and as of right now, that’s all he will ever know. When I
first realized this, it made me sad. Not only did it make me sad, but I was
almost embarrassed by it. I don’t want to have to explain those things to my
son. I want him to have a family that hasn’t fallen apart. I don’t want him to
be missing out on all those pieces on my side. It broke my heart a little.
to grow up and ask why he doesn’t have a grandpa on my side. He’s going to ask
why the people I call family are mostly friends of my mom who have been in our
lives forever. He’s going to notice that mom’s family doesn’t quite look like
dad’s family – we’re a lot smaller. He’ll have my mom, and my three siblings
that live with her, and as of right now, that’s all he will ever know. When I
first realized this, it made me sad. Not only did it make me sad, but I was
almost embarrassed by it. I don’t want to have to explain those things to my
son. I want him to have a family that hasn’t fallen apart. I don’t want him to
be missing out on all those pieces on my side. It broke my heart a little.
But then I had to remind myself that as it is a testimony to
others, it can be a testimony to him.
others, it can be a testimony to him.
Son, I come from
grace.
grace.
When you look at my
family, you see it’s broken. You won’t have great uncles, great aunts, great
grandparents, or possibly even a grandpa. I mean they exist, but they may never
really be in your life. But when you look at your grandmother, my mom, and your
aunt and uncles, and when you look at your mother, you will see a perfect
picture of God’s grace. You will see a perfect example of what God can do in
the life of those who do one simple thing and ask Jesus into their hearts. You
will see the transforming power of God.
family, you see it’s broken. You won’t have great uncles, great aunts, great
grandparents, or possibly even a grandpa. I mean they exist, but they may never
really be in your life. But when you look at your grandmother, my mom, and your
aunt and uncles, and when you look at your mother, you will see a perfect
picture of God’s grace. You will see a perfect example of what God can do in
the life of those who do one simple thing and ask Jesus into their hearts. You
will see the transforming power of God.
Son, you have a mom
and dad who are one hundred percent committed to serving God in their every day.
You have a mom and dad who are committed to loving each other and loving you –
no matter how hard or easy it may be at times. More than that, we are committed
to teaching you about the love of a God that is so much more than the love we
can offer you.
and dad who are one hundred percent committed to serving God in their every day.
You have a mom and dad who are committed to loving each other and loving you –
no matter how hard or easy it may be at times. More than that, we are committed
to teaching you about the love of a God that is so much more than the love we
can offer you.
Today instead of being nervous about the day my son asks me
why my family is so different, I am holding to the fact that it is a testimony.
I am holding strong to the fact that my husband and I will be the first parents
to birth children in a Christian home on my side of the family. What a
testimony that is!
why my family is so different, I am holding to the fact that it is a testimony.
I am holding strong to the fact that my husband and I will be the first parents
to birth children in a Christian home on my side of the family. What a
testimony that is!
My children will know that I come from grace.
I mean, don’t we all, in some way or another, come from
grace?
grace?
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Amen and amen. God is GOOD. Thank you for sharing that.