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on July 8, 2013 · 6 Comments

& Now I’m a Mom

Motherhood has been quite the adventure. Probably one of the
most amazing and rewarding adventures I will ever embark on in life. Not only that,
but it’s probably one of the most nerve-racking adventures with surprises on
every corner.

I’ve grown up around kids my entire life. I have always
taken care of kids, and have spent a good amount of time with newborns as well.
I always felt confident when watching babies and young children because I had
the training and experience that would help me when I faced certain situations.
Then comes motherhood. No amount of training and experience really matters when
you become a mom, it’s an entirely new experience. This time it’s your baby,
you are responsible for this little one at all times. It’s quite the
responsibility.

I find myself worried about things I never thought I would
worry about. Such as, letting him sit in the backseat by himself for a four
hour car ride (I may have stalked him in the passenger side mirror the entire
time). Or finding yourself waking up in the middle of the night just to make
sure your little one is still breathing. I never thought I would be that way,
but I definitely am.

Then comes the times where you feel like you have no idea
what to do. One of the first nights we were home Jase just started crying…and
crying…and crying…we had no idea why. After two hours of him fussing I finally
woke up my mom, in tears myself, because I didn’t know why my son was crying.
Other times I am overwhelmed with all the theories or opinions of other people
that I don’t know what to do for my son. I am bombarded with people’s views on
using Babywise right away, waiting to use Babywise until they’re older, not
using Babywise or anything similar, letting your baby cry it out, not letting
your baby cry it out, rocking your baby to sleep, not rocking your baby to
sleep – there is no shortage of opinions out there. I have found myself a
couple times just sitting there staring at my crying son wondering what I am
supposed to do because my mind is a jigsaw puzzle containing all these random
things people keep telling me.

I don’t think I was expecting to feel all these things at
once, it can be pretty overwhelming at times.

But here is where I am at three weeks into this adventure. I
am Jase’s mom. It’s my responsibility and my God given duty to do what I feel
is right for my son. Today I may just make sure he is up every three hours to
eat and doesn’t sleep through a feeding. Today I may decide that he was extra
fussy and needs to sleep a little longer, he will wake up when he’s hungry. I
might just rock my baby to sleep every night because that’s what I want for my
son. I may decide that I don’t want him to sleep in his crib for this nap
because I want to cuddle him close. Today I may rock him until he is sleepy
enough to soothe himself into a deep sleep in his crib. He may have been on a
perfect three hour eating schedule the past week, but today he woke up an hour
later and I’m going to be flexible with what he’s doing instead of trying to
work him back on the schedule. Today I may decide to something different than I
did yesterday.

And everything is still going to be okay.

God has given me the ability to discern what my child needs
at any given moment in his life. And at times that I don’t know what I am
doing, God is there offering me wisdom. God has set aside this time in my life
to embark on this new adventure as a mom because He knew I was ready. Even at
times when I feel like my head is spinning; He still says I am ready. God has
equipped me for this season in my life – and just like any other season
everyone is going to have their best success stories, but God wants me to do
what He has laid on my heart to do. God wants me to know that I don’t have to
do everything perfectly. I don’t have to do all that people suggest for me to
do. I don’t have to do things the same way every day. Everything is still going
to be okay. Some days things may go one way, and other days they may go another
way, but that’s what keeps this new journey of motherhood exciting.

Trust that God has prepared you for whatever season He has
you in right now. Trust that God will give you wisdom in making decisions
through that season. No matter what other people did when they were in that season
that may not be what you do. Your story is uniquely yours through every season
you go through in life. Trust that God has thoroughly equipped you for that.
(Visited 68 times, 1 visits today)

Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: Family, Ferg Littles, Jase, Motherhood

Previous Post: « In His Love – Meet Rebecca
Next Post: Happy July!! »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kalyn Randolph says

    July 8, 2013 at 5:20 PM

    Yes, this is so good! Happy Mommy days to you! I am so thrilled for you and your family. It seems like you are learning a lot and seeking the Lord through it all! I know that you are a wonderful mother to precious little Jase!

    Reply
  2. Faith says

    July 8, 2013 at 9:42 PM

    Aww he's adorable! I've been praying for you guys! Congratulations!

    Reply
  3. Sarah Notes says

    July 9, 2013 at 2:40 AM

    It took me nearly two years to figure all that out, so you are way ahead of the curve! You are doing wonderful 😀

    Reply
  4. NIGHT OWL VENTING says

    July 9, 2013 at 2:41 AM

    Ally….he's precious as can be. Makes my heart smile to see a sweet baby. I'm a sucker for baby boys! I'm enjoying the baby love I get from my now 4 mth old twin boy cousins. they are so sweet

    http://pinkowl07.blogspot.com/2013/06/night-owl-blog-hop-hop.html

    Reply
  5. Patty says

    July 10, 2013 at 3:07 AM

    This is so beautiful and heart felt…though my husband and I don't have wee ones yet, I find myself already wondering how to do it with grace and trust…your words give me encouragement!

    Reply
  6. Darlene - PhD in Finance says

    July 30, 2013 at 10:57 AM

    You’re definitely right! God has already plans for us, much better than what we have already planned. Don’t worry. You’re not the only mom who acts that way. I’m over protective too as a mother. But nobody could blame me if I’m that kind of mom, right. It’s just that I love my kids so much that I don’t them getting hurt even a bit.

    http://online-phd-uk.co.uk/

    Reply

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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