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on July 4, 2013 · Leave a Comment

In His Love – Meet Rebecca

Today I asked one of my dear friends to share her story with you. She is an amazing young woman who I have had the privilege of watching God do a tremendous work in her life this year. I prayed for three years that she would move to Missouri and attend the college I did because I knew it would be a life changing experience for her. I knew that her getting away and experiencing God would change her life. I’ve known this girl for a long time, we have been with each other through a lot and we really understand each other’s trials. I am so excited that she can no share with you what God has done in her life! Be sure to leave her some love!

*******************************************************************************

My journey is one that is not
spoken of very often. It is filled with deep hurt, scars, and what seemed like
forever to get to the happy ending- (or what you would call the present). To
see and appreciate where a person is now, one must see where he or she came
from, but we will get to that later.

I just currently completed my
first year at James River Leadership College: aka, Bible College. Not something
everyone dreams about! I was one of those people. Never in a million years
would I have said that I would go to a bible college of any sort, but here I am
and it couldn’t have been a better decision. This year was filled with classes
I enjoyed, new people I grew to love, and great experiences working in the
church. Along with all the great things that have taken place, there were many
trying and testing experiences as well.

Coming in I was nervous but
excited for a new beginning and even more excited to get away from the only
thing I have known. I was always doing something, or hanging out with someone outside
of my church family. Not really taking time focusing on what was important. I
was not developing myself as a young woman, instead I was allowing others to
rule and regulate my emotions and thoughts. I got involved with many things
that in no way helped me. They harmed me spiritually, mentally, and
emotionally. I can say I got lost very quickly, not knowing who I was and what
I stood for. I was a chameleon; I changed depending on what group of people I
was around. It didn’t take long before I was no longer Rebecca. I looked in the
mirror and saw a stranger. I didn’t want to admit it, so I continued to go with
the flow. I had people who were pulling me aside and praying for me, trying to
help me see I could be better. It took me moving 1,200 miles away from home to
see that I needed to change. I thought moving away was enough change, but I was
quickly reminded of the things I had shoved under the rug for so long. I tried
ignoring them, pushing them away as far as I could until I had a rude
awakening. I was going through counseling and all my secrets had to come out. I
found that I had no sense of how much God loved me.

Throughout the remainder of the school year, I was
constantly reminded of that love. People I had never met or had any connection
to came to tell me how special I am and that God has such an amazing amount of
unconditional love for me. I was overwhelmed and I finally understood what love
was truly about. It was the best time of my life to grasp that concept. It took
me twenty years to get it but now it is never leaving me. It’s amazing the
growth one can do in seven months. Those seven months of tears and being broken
were all worth the fight to be built back up. Never will it be forgotten. Never
will it be a regret in my mind

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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