Yesterday we had a guest speaker in the morning services,
and thankfully Chad and I had an opportunity to attend. Robert Madu is a
traveling Evangelist who had just finished speaking at the church’s youth
camps, so they invited him to preach for our Sunday morning services. He was an
amazing speaker, extremely passionate which kept me completely engaged the
entire time. Among many of the amazing things he said, one particularly stuck
out to me that day. Madu was talking about how people tend to identify other
people by their issue, which unfortunately happens a lot with humans. So he
made this statement, “You may identify me by my history, but you don’t know my
destiny, and God identifies me by my destiny.” What a beyond powerful statement
for God’s precious daughters.

I immediately thought of how we as girls can be so hard on
ourselves. I think we ourselves, even more than other people, look at all that
we did in our past and use that to define who we are in our eyes, and who we
think we are in others eyes. We look at the mistakes we made when it comes to
friendships, relationships, and family and we believe that defines who we are
today. I have a few friends who have made many mistakes in their past, whether
it was the way they pushed away all their friendships in fear of trusting
someone completely, or giving piece after piece of themselves to a guy to feel
loved and accepted. They are in a position now where they want more than
anything to be different, to have a life full of happiness and freedom and they
know that with God they can find that. Yet every time they begin taking steps
in that direction, it’s like the weight of their past is keeping them from
moving forward. Their past keeps pulling them back causing them to feel as if
they don’t really deserve all that God has to offer them. They are defined by
their past and there is no escape.

I remember being in that same position. When I was in my
Master’s Commission program I was working with Chad in the Children’s Ministry
practicum. Everyone in our little program knew that Chad was absolutely in love
with me, I didn’t see it at first and I didn’t believe them. But when I finally
started to see it I believed deep inside of me this heart wrenching concept. I
truly believed that I was not good enough
for him. I sat down with him and told him that I had so much to tell him. I
believed that he was falling in love with the wrong girl; he was such an
amazing guy who saved himself for that one special lady. He grew up in a
Christian family and deserved someone who was just the perfect girl, and I
believed there was no way I could be that girl. So I sat him down and spilled
my entire life story. I told him how drugs and alcohol were a part of my
parents life for a good part of my young life, how I didn’t grow up in a Christian
family and didn’t make the best decisions my whole life. I told him how I was
dating a guy before I left for college and I gave so much of myself to him
little by little and left barely hanging on to my virginity. On and on I went
with all the decisions in my life that made me undeservable of such an amazing
guy like him. I cried throughout the entire story because I knew that he was
falling for the wrong girl. This was my story, my past defined me now and I was
sure it would define my future.

As we were driving to meet Chad’s parents yesterday, the statement
Robert Madu made and all of this was running through my head all at once. If
you know me, I am definitely a talkative person. Sometimes I just start saying
what I am thinking out loud because it helps to process the craziness in my
mind. I am careful of who I am around before processing out loud, but when I am
around my husband he definitely hears me processing my thoughts a lot. As I am
processing all these thoughts in my mind I blurted out, “Chad, remember that
time I sat you down to tell you that I didn’t deserve a guy like you?” Chad
responded hesitantly, “Yes, I remember.” So I proceeded to ask him a series of
questions. “Were you mad? Were you sad? Were you hurt?” and most importantly, “Why
didn’t you believe me?” Chad answered all the questions with answers I’ve heard
before, but this time it really struck me differently. “No, I wasn’t mad or
angry at you. I was upset that you had to go through all that you did in life.
At first I was a little upset that all that happened, but I knew who was I to
hold your past against you? I didn’t see all of that, I saw the person that you
were then. The same person you are now, an amazing woman of God.” (Okay,
everyone let out a big awwww now. You know you want to, and if you are a girl
it’s practically your duty to, it’s what we do. Okay, bragging moment complete).

My eyes filled with tears just hearing those precious words
from my husband. I know that’s how he sees me, but it was just so precious to
hear those words from him. And I am such a baby, I practically cry at
everything. Despite the tears that were welling up in my eyes at that time, I
continued to process all my thoughts. How did I go from processing Robert Madu’s
message, to remembering that moment I sat down to talk to Chad?

Then it hit me. Chad didn’t see my history, he didn’t define
me by past. He saw who I was standing before him that day, and he knew that was
the person I was. And if I was a woman of God, He knew that I had a God
designed destiny. Chad didn’t know at that point what my destiny was, but He
knew that He wanted to walk along side me and help me to fulfill my destiny. He
may have been able to look at me and guess what he saw God calling me to do,
and He wanted to be a part of what destiny God had for me. My mind is still
running a mile a minute as I am trying to figure out why God is bringing all
this to my memory. I knew there was something He was trying to communicate and
I was eager to figure it out.

I really believe that it comes down to two things that God
wants to remind His daughters.

First and foremost, my
precious ladies your past did not, does not, and never will define who you are.
Yes, I do believe that your past plays a big part in making you the person you
are today. You learn a lot from things that you go through and come out of. But
that does not mean you are defined by that, because you are not. It’s time that
you stop looking at yourself in the light of your past. I am tired of watching
girls sell themselves short because they can’t escape their past. I am even
more tired of other people tearing God’s precious daughters down with the
mistakes of their past. So many girls are trying to move forward with the pain
and decisions of their past chained to their feet, they are trying to reach for
something better, but those mistakes keep holding them down. It’s time to cut
those chains of regret off and be free! It’s time to press through so that you
can find your break through. My precious girls, God has a destiny waiting for
you that is beyond anything you can imagine. God doesn’t define you by those
mistakes and regrets that you are leaving chained to your ankles, He doesn’t
even see those when He looks at you. When God looks at you all He sees is His beautiful
daughter, He created you with a beautiful destiny. If God does not define you
by your past, then my dear, do not allow yourself to be defined by your past.
And when someone tries to tell you that you are worth nothing, that all the
decisions you made in your past result in you not being worth a greater
destiny. I want you to look them in the eyes and say with great confidence, “You
do not define me and my past does not define me, only my God defines me.” You
believe that in confidence that your God defines you and move forward, and one
day all those people that tried to hold you back are going to look at you and
be amazed at the God you serve and the destiny He had for you.

Secondly, the man that
God brings into your life will look at you and see only who you are today and
the destiny you will have one day. Ladies, if any man comes into your life
and tries to keep you in your past, or holds any decision that you have ever
made in your life over your head then that man needs to be in your past. The
man that God has for you will look at you and see the beautiful, precious
daughter of God that you are. He will see that woman of God you are and the
destiny that God is calling you towards. A man of God will encourage you to
fulfill that God given destiny and would want to be a part of helping you to
walk in your destiny. No one in your life should make you live with regret, and
you don’t want to allow the man in your life to do so. Ladies don’t settle for
just any man, wait for the guy who will see you as the woman of God you are and
will push you towards your God given destiny.