Well, beings that this is my anniversary, month marriage has
been on my mind constantly. I feel like my eyes have been opened to so much
considering marriage and relationships. More than usual, I have been noticing
certain things that I haven’t really paid much attention to before now. My
heart has really been stirring and I have felt a really heavy burden
considering marriage.

Chad and I have very different upbringings; he was raised
mostly in a Christian environment, while most of my upbringing was far from it.
Chad has had very godly examples of marriage his whole life, there are very few
that have been through a divorce on his side of the family. Praise God for
that! His parents actually just had their 34th wedding anniversary,
how great is that? When his mother told me how long they had been married I was
pretty astonished, in a good way of course. I honestly haven’t seen that in my
life at all, and it was so inspiring to know a couple intimately, to have the
opportunity to see them interact, and to know how long they have been married.
Most of the couples that I have interacted with in my life are not married at
all. There are plenty in my family who have been together for years, but for
whatever reason do not believe in making the commitment of marriage. They will
live together, have kids together, pay bills for each other, but marriage is
the furthest thing from their mind. They feel no need to take that step and
make a commitment at all; the back door always has to be open. Then there are
those couples that I have interacted with who are married, but their marriages
are far from the way that God designed them. There is more heartache, lies,
abuse, and brokenness then there is love.

You can imagine how much I have had to battle thoughts and
fears of one day watching my marriage turn in the same direction as the ones I
have mentioned above. Recently, it has been brought to my attention that I am
not the only one who has had to battle those thoughts. There are many young
girls who have had the same examples in their life showing them what marriage
is, defining their perception of what marriage is all about. My heart has been
burdened tremendously by this fact: the definition of marriage that is being
shouted from the rooftops is far from the way that God designed it to be. I
will never forget the sad words spoken to Chad and I as we checked into the
hotel on our honeymoon. As we were standing at the counter to check in, there
was a couple standing next to us. It was obvious that we had just gotten
married as I was standing there still in my wedding dress, and Chad was dressed
up head to toe. The couple looked at us and asked, “Did you two just get
married?” You can imagine our answer, “Yes, we did!” We shouted back in
excitement. Their reply was not a congratulations, or we’re so happy for you,
but they proceeded to say, “You two just made the worst decision of your life.
Getting married is the worst decision you could ever make.” Yea, I know. You
are probably just as shocked as we were. Even the receptionist checking us in
even had the biggest look of disgusted shock at the words the couple just
spoke. At that time, we had no idea how to respond so we just ignored the words
they spoke and walked away. I think of that moment often, not because I think
there is any truth in their words at all, but because I think there is so much
untruth to those words.

Marriage truly is, and always will be one of the greatest
gifts that God gave to us as His children. God saw that Adam was alone; He knew
that it was not good for Him to be alone, so what did He do? He created Eve; He
created a helper, a companion to walk through life with Adam. There we have the
first marriage in the history of all mankind. A lot has happened since that
first marriage, a lot that has distorted the view of marriage. Chad and I are
far from perfect. I mean we have only been married for two years. We have
learned so much about each other, about God, and about marriage, but we still
have so much more to learn. I cannot tell you how many of our friends or young
people we lead have come to us and said, “thank you for showing us what a Godly
marriage is.” I always respond the same way, “Aw, thank you. We are far from
perfect and are still learning. I am so glad that we could be an example to
you.” Then I forget that anyone has ever said that, and I move on. But
something has stirred inside of me where I just can’t forget those words.
Something has burdened my heart to where I just can’t stop thinking about it.

 If you are married, you are an example to those around you,
especially those who are not married. Whether you want to be or not, whether
you’re trying to be or not, whether you are actively mentoring others around
you or not, you are an example. I cannot say it enough, you are an example. In
a world that is full of distorted views, marriage is one of those things that
has been distorted the most. There are young people in this world who are
starving to see a glimpse of hope in a marriage around them, when the marriage
that created them is broken or falling apart. Whether you realize it or not,
there are people who are watching you. I can tell you a number of people whose
marriages I have watched and learned a tremendous amount of things from, and I
bet you that couple has absolutely no idea. But because all I have seen in my
life is broken marriages, I have watched closely the ones that I have noticed
to be strong. I can assure you, there is someone who is watching your marriage
as well.

Because you are being watched, because there are people who
are looking up to you, you have a very strong influence on what their view of
marriage is going to be. In a world that is shouting the horrors and failures
of marriage there are people who are looking for hope. There is a world that
needs to hear and see the blessing that God intended for each of us to have in
a marriage relationship.

This is why it is so important that as a married couple you
are constantly in a state of learning. As a husband, as a wife, you need to be
willing to bury yourself in the word of God. The more you understand how God
designed every aspect of marriage, the more that your marriage will grow. When your
marriage is standing on a strong foundation, not just the foundation of your
love for each other, but your love for God, you have the strength to withstand
everything that comes your way. You have the ability to show the world around
you the way that marriage was designed. The more that you are looking to
resources from those who have spent hours studying the way God designed
marriage, the more that you are going to understand about the beauty of it.
What your marriage is founded on is crucial to the strength of your marriage. It
goes beyond the example that you are to those around you, but even to the very
core of your marriage. For you to fully experience the way God designed marriage
to be, you have to understand how to work in a marriage. The only way you can
understand how God designed marriage is to spend time studying how God designed
marriage. It breaks my heart that there are people who believe that getting
married is one of the worst things a person can do. The more I learn about marriage
and the longer I am married, the more I see how much of a blessing it truly is.
I believe that God’s desire is for everyone to see marriage as the blessing He
has created it to be. We have to be willing to bury ourselves in understanding
that in our own marriages. When we do so in our lives, then those around us
will see marriage as God designed it as well. I challenge you to really make it
a point to define your view of marriage around Godly principles. Build your
foundation of your marriage on God, and you will see a huge difference in your
marriage. You will experience marriage at its fullest when you do so, and what
a blessing that could be to you and those around you!