Just stop being anxious. You need to trust God a little more. You need to have a little more faith. Just don’t think about it. Just pray about it more
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard one of the statements above. I know people want to help, and they want to say the right thing, but those are the most unhelpful things you can say to someone walking through Postpartum Anxiety. Anxiety can be controlled by your thoughts up to a point, but then there is something past that point where anxiety is just really hard to control.
Sometimes there are triggers and sometimes it just comes out of no where. But you can be certain of one thing, going through Postpartum Anxiety can quickly make you feel like you’ve lost yourself.
Being around people invigorates me. My best alone time has always been spent going to the mall where I am surrounded by people. I love parties. I love crowds. I love being surrounded by friends and strangers. I look forward to time with people because it refreshes who I am. But anxiety has made that part of me disappear. I now find myself having panic attacks before going to a party. I find myself feeling anxious when I am around too many people. I couldn’t even leave my house without having to breathe through anxious feelings.
The person I had become was a stranger to me. I felt like I lost myself in the midst of this awful struggle.
But there is one thing I hold onto in the midst of this confusing place; it won’t be this way forever. Though there are nights that I cry into my husband’s arms and wish I knew who this person was. Though there are nights that I spend battling racing thoughts and doing all I can to distract my mind. Though there are nights where I feel like a stranger in my own body. It won’t last forever. I will overcome this and I will become stronger. It may take a few months…it may take a year, but I will get through this.
So will you. If you’re here because you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore. If you feel like the person you are now is a stranger to the person you know yourself to be. You are not alone. I understand where you’re at. I understand how you feel. But just remember you are stronger than you think. You have the strength you need to get through this, and you will.
We will. One day at a time.