I heard heard the song “Oceans” by Hillsong about a month or so ago when I was in the midst
of praying about a pretty big life transition for myself. I remember crying
throughout the entire thing, more than once. I am pretty sure I listened to the
song for an hour on repeat, actually. The words in the song just really spoke
to me in more ways than one. It spoke to me and told me to trust God, that He
was the one directing my steps. It spoke to me and told me that through
trusting in God my faith would grow. Everything before me was full of
uncertainty, but God wasn’t going to leave me stranded, He was going to take
care of me. After all, He was the one that was directing my steps. All of the
worries and uncertainties that were coming at me like crashing waves, all I
needed to do was keep my head held eye and my eyes on Him and He wouldn’t fail
me.

You may remember this post that I shared while I was in
the midst of praying for these big transitions in life. It serves as a constant
reminder to me to hold on to the fact that God is limitless. He is in control
of my journey and wherever He is directing my steps, His hand will follow. I
recently shared this post about finding my security in God, in every season of
life, but especially in seasons of change.

God has been taking my husband and I on a roller coaster
journey. You know the first time you ride a certain roller coaster? You’re
looking at the track while in line, what you can see of it, scoping out all the
twists, turns, ups, downs, and counting how many times it goes upside down. But
if you’re like me, no matter how long you stare at the track while in line, you
still have no idea how it’s going to play out. You can anticipate what the ride
is going to be like, but until you go for it and get on that ride, you have no
idea where it’s going to take you. Every twist and turn comes as a surprise,
but if you enjoy roller coasters at all you’re probably laughing and screaming
in excitement with your hands in the air. Or sometimes you’re a little anxious
about what’s coming next so you hold on as tight as possible in the beginning.
Then you might finally hit a point where you feel like it’s safe enough to let
go and throw your hands in the air.

That’s how the journey God has my husband and I on right now
feels. I keep trying to anticipate how things are going to play out, what’s
going to happen next, but there are so many twists and turns I can’t keep it
all straight. God lays one thing on our hearts at a time, just one step that He
wants us to take. I find myself thinking about all the possible circumstance or
events that can play out after we take that step – my way of assuring that I’m
going to be secure when I and if I take that step. After we spend all this time
praying and seeking God about what He is asking us to do, and finally take that
step, nothing pans out the way I had anticipated. There’s another hill, another
drop, another turn, another twist. God gave us step number one, He didn’t give
step number two and three, and He didn’t ask for me to seek out a potential
step two and three. He told me to step out and trust Him by taking step number
one.

When I first heard this song a couple months ago, it really
encouraged me. I remember being so moved by the line that sings, “Take me
deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger…” I
wanted God to take me deeper. I wanted to go further in Him, further in my walk
with Him, further in my calling, further than I would ever go on my own. I
wanted to go deeper than I would ever find myself going on my own so that my
faith would grow. I believe that was my hearts cry when I heard this song; that
was what my Spirit was longing for, and something that I had no idea the
meaning it would hold. I believe that God is answering that cry of my Spirit
right now, and He is taking me deeper. He is giving me one step at a time so
that my faith would grow, and He’s taking me beyond what I would ever
anticipate because I wouldn’t anticipate the things He has for me. His plans
are much bigger. I have no idea where this journey my husband and I are on is
going to lead us, but I do know that through this journey we are going deeper
than we ever would have and our faith is being made stronger.God doesn’t want us to hold on tightly through the entire roller coaster ride. God wants us to trust in Him and let go, to enjoy the ride. We don’t need to wait until we feel like it’s safe enough to let go. He’s in control, He’s leading the journey. Just let go of the handle bar and raise your hands as high as you can and enjoy the journey that God has for you.