Struggling with anxiety as a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever had to endure. Anxiety has this way of crippling you into being unable to do absolutely anything and can turn you into someone that feels like a stranger. I have walked this road of anxiety for four years now and I am still learning so much about myself and how to survive anxiety as a mom. While it isn’t easy, it truly helps knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even in seasons where it seems like there is no hope.

How to Survive Anxiety as a Mom

You have probably asked the question before, the one we all find ourselves asking…am I a good mom? There is this intense pressure and weight on our shoulders as moms to be the very best we can be. We often leave little room for ourselves to be human with these unrealistic expectations of perfection we often place on ourselves. So, when something as life changing as dealing with anxiety enters your motherhood journey, things can get a bit complicated.

Anxiety isn’t something you can predict or plan for. Whether your anxiety is brought on by post traumatic stress or from raging postpartum hormones, you cannot anticipate when the anxiety symptoms will be overwhelming. You can’t control when your days will be plagued by anxiety attacks or depression will have you feeling discouraged. When an anxiety attack comes, it comes. I have learned a few things in my journey with anxiety and depression and I wanted to take the time to share them with you. Maybe today you’ve come to this post because you are discouraged by the anxiety symptoms and feeling overrun by depression. This is for you. Maybe you’ve come to this post today because you thought you had reached the end of this journey, and yet you find yourself back in it. Or maybe today this post is for me, because sometimes even I forget that the darkness doesn’t last forever.

What I Have Learned Struggling with Anxiety

Embrace anxiety. Don’t close out of this post right here, I know I’ve probably confused you. You were probably coming here to figure out how to get rid of your anxiety so that you could be a good mom again. I am sorry to tell you that I can’t give you the quick fix or the answer to that question. I can tell you that you are a good mom, in fact you are an amazing mom. You came here today because your anxiety caused you to feel like you were failing, and the very fact that you were thinking of your children in this moment shows you are a good mom. Anxiety attacks, depression, and all…you are a good mom. But, the more you fight your anxiety, the more it tends to control you.

My counselor has spent years telling me there will be a day I come to accept this part of my story, and I am not there yet, but I think I am learning to get there. I have spent many anxiety attacks fighting the very feeling of being anxious that I in turn made it worse. It’s the times that I feel the anxiety symptoms rising in me, and I sit there and tell myself that I can do this afraid that I begin to conquer the anxiety attack. So, I sit there, and I say to myself over and over, “Yes, right now you’re anxious, and that’s okay. It sucks, yes, but it’s what is happening right now, and it is okay. You’re going to do this a little anxious. You may be shaking all the way to the store, and that is okay. If you cry, that is okay. You can give yourself permission right now to not be okay. And you can do this afraid.” I pep talk myself right into accepting that anxiety is a part of my story, and then I conquer it. One moment at a time.

Allow grace into your season. Embracing anxiety is equally as important as embracing grace. Sometimes you need to tell yourself, or other people, no. There may be a day that you just need to embrace grace and be okay with it. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You do not have to live up to anyone else’s expectation of you. No one understands what your body needs in this season as much as you do, so allow grace into your anxiety.

Let go of the stress. Anxiety is fueled by stress. Often, we overwhelm ourselves with standards to meet that no one else is asking for us to. Then when we don’t measure up, we feel that weight come crashing down. You don’t have to get it all right. You don’t have to be perfect. It’s okay for you to fail. It’s okay for you to say no. It’s okay if right now, you just can’t do it. Your anxiety does not make you a bad mom. If you can’t go to the park today, it’s okay. If you can’t sit through church, it’s okay. If your son’s field trip was a little overwhelming, it’s okay. You are not your anxiety. You are not a bad mom because of your anxiety. Let go of the pressure that you have placed on yourself and embrace your season.

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How can you be a good mom when anxiety is overwhelming?

By letting yourself be who you need through this season. You are a good mom simply because you show up every day and you keep fighting. You are good mom in seasons that you can only manage to leave the house two to three times a month. You are a good mom when you leave the house once a week. You are doing an amazing job loving your babies and teaching them how important it is to love yourself. While anxiety may feel like the end all, it isn’t. But it is a part of your life. You can survive the overwhelming anxiety symptoms that weigh you down, and you can still be a good mom. You’re more than your anxiety, sweet mama.