I knew this day was coming, I’ve always known it was coming. Somehow, as the years went by, the day seemed to approach faster and faster. I looked for the button to stop time and I couldn’t find it. The days just kept passing by and before I knew it, we were here. We were here with Kindergarten registration, open house, meet the teacher, explore the school, forms in the mail, lunch menus on the fridge, and school supplies and backpacks in the hall. How did we get here so fast? Your first day of kindergarten.

I can’t help but have all the thoughts fill my mind. Did I spend enough time with you? Did I choose work one too many times? Did I tell you not right now one too many times? Did I teach you everything you need to know? Are you ready to walk those big halls without me holding your hand? What if you cry, how will you be comforted? What if you miss me, will you miss me? What if you need a hug from me and I can’t give it to you? What about this entire world that you’re going to be exploring that I can’t watch? The questions and thoughts just keep coming and I can’t seem to calm them down. One minute I am thinking about your first day of Kindergarten, and the next I’ve gotten all the way to the “one day you’ll be leaving me.” It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?

Your first day of kindergarten is the start to a new season, a season that becomes our new normal. There isn’t an end to school, it’s our life now. I’m a mom of a school aged kid…it’s kind of weird, knowing it doesn’t stop after this until our next big season. This is our new normal. I haven’t quite figured it out yet. But I know you’re ready, despite me considering to keep you back a little longer because I wasn’t ready to let you go. You’re so excited. You’re ready for this big step. You’re going to do big things, kid.

I’m proud of you. You know, I’m proud of me too. We’ve been through a lot together these last five years. We have worked to figure out what you need, how you learn, how you feel loved, how you feel challenged, what helps you grow, and what things just don’t work. I know you and you know me. This mom and kid stuff, it isn’t always easy, but we are figuring it out together.

On your first day of Kindergarten I could spend all this time wishing for time back, or questioning if I got it right, or I could focus on right now. I could focus on you and the big step you’re taking into this new season. I can focus on watching you walk into those doors with excitement, and maybe a little nervous. I can watch you step forward in discovering this new world. I can watch you do big things. I could focus on watching this new adventure unfold. I’m so glad I get the front seat.

As we embrace this new season together I hope you remember that you are so very loved by me, your dad, and your Heavenly Father. I hope that you would walk those halls with eyes to see the people around you. I hope that you would have arms outstretched for the people who need extra love. I hope you would choose wisely when presented with choices. I hope you would chase adventure, even when it’s a little scary. I hope you will try new things, because maybe you’ll find something you love. I hope you’ll make mistakes, so you have opportunities to learn from them. I hope you’ll raise your hand, because you’ve got something worth sharing. I hope that you’ll stand confident in who you are, because there is no one like you and that’s a good thing.

On your first day of kindergarten I hope you step into your new adventure with all that you are, because your story is just unfolding.

Some days I might cry. Some days I might laugh. Some days I might be in a hurry to get you out the door. Some days I might wish I could pick you up early. But every day I’ll always be here praying, cheering, and standing by as your biggest fan.

On your first day of Kindergarten, I couldn’t be more thankful to be your mom.