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on October 10, 2017 · Leave a Comment

Jude {4 Months}

Oh…hello four months. How did we get here so fast? I am not quite sure. I kept asking for time to slow down a little, but it isn’t listening too well on that front.

Four months came in with a bang and made itself very known. How do you ask? Sleep regression…teething…wonder week leap…you name it! Jude has been quite the demanding little guy for the last 2 weeks and I’m a bit exhausted. He forgot how to sleep and goes most nights waking at least once, sometimes even twice. He wants to snuggle a lot. He wants to play a lot. He doesn’t want to sleep a lot. His new favorite thing is to pretend he doesn’t need any evening naps, until finally he realizes that isn’t a good idea, and just cries because he’s so tired. I mean, I cry because I’m tired too, don’t you? I think I’m crying right now.

 

Even with the challenges four months of life presents, it’s SO much fun. He’s smiling a lot more. He’s talking. He’s responding. He’s trying to see how much of his entire fist he can stuff into his mouth. He’s alert. He’s just so much fun. When he isn’t fighting his sleep between 6PM-7AM he’s pretty much the happiest baby on the planet. He adores his brother and sister, often looking at them with this longing to be a part of the action. I just can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like in just a matter of months when his little feet are pitter-pattering down the hallway with his older siblings.

I think Jude is beginning to look more and more like Jase every day. He’s a definite mama’s boy which can be quite exhausting because he won’t even go to daddy in the evenings. He also seems to be a more vocal baby like Jase was, but still not as much. He has quite the temper on him and will let you know when he is not a fan of what you’re trying to do, so that’s going to be interesting to see how that plays out. Looks like Elyse may hold the fort down for our quiet, laid back child, still. I do however think Jude has to be the most smiley baby we have ever had.

His favorite thing to do is blow spit bubbles…all day….at everyone…constantly. The kids find it hilarious. The play mat may also be his favorite toy. He’s grasping for toys now too, so that’s fun on it’s own! The kids think he needs to hold a hundred of them all at once.

I’m really excited that we are approaching more and more months where he is going to be more active and in the action with the kids. It’s so fun experiencing these new stages with him!

Until next month Jude,

Mommy loves you…even if she doesn’t sleep anymore.

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Filed Under: Family, Ferg Littles, Jude Tagged With: Monthly Update

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

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Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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