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on August 16, 2017 · 2 Comments

Jude’s Birth Story

Scheduled C-Sections are such an interesting way to have a baby. It’s nice knowing when the baby is coming and not having to question when the day is, unless of course you do question. The weeks leading up to my scheduled C-Section I was thinking I wasn’t going to make it. In fact, the Saturday before I spent four hours breathing through some pretty intense contractions thinking we would be going to the Doctor that night, until they stopped. Just stopped. Man I was not happy. I remember being so anxious going into this wondering if I was going to end up having this baby on my own and if I could even do it. In the end, I am glad it happened in the way I knew because it was much more peaceful that way.

On June 6th, we got up bright and early to head to the hospital by 7AM. We checked in, they did all the registration, and we headed to the pre-op room. I had an amazing nurse, again, praise the Lord. She was so sweet and super friendly and jumped right in prepping me. We just hung out and talked and I told her I was a little anxious this time. Everything went so well with Elyse, but this time I had anxiety issues and I was worried about handling the changes in my body and hormones with that. I was open with them from the start which really helped. I also told her about how my blood pressure dropped after getting my epidural with Elyse and I felt completely out of it, so she said they would let the anesthesiologist know beforehand this time.

I am so glad I was open from the start because the anesthesiologist worked her magic and none of that happened this time! I did’t feel dizzy, I didn’t feel like I was going to black out, and my blood pressure didn’t drop drastically. Or it did and she knew what she was doing to prevent me from feeling like I was going to pass out. So I just rested and tried to keep calm until my Doctor got there and checked in with me. He was ready to go and gave me the download and then they wheeled me back for surgery.

4 4

I was very anxious when they wheeled me back just ready to get it over with. I just wanted to make it through the surgery and know it was all okay. But at the same time, so ready to meet this little baby. It seemed to go much faster this time! I don’t know why, but I wasn’t complaining. During the surgery my Doctor leaned over and said, “This may not be the right time to say this, but your uterus is really healthy! Not sure if this is the last one, but you’re great to have more kids!” We all laughed that we were in the process of having a baby and he was getting us ready for another!

The NICU nurse had to be in there because I was on anxiety medicine through the pregnancy and they said some babies tend to come out and not cry right away, but Jude came out screaming! Because she had to check him. they couldn’t bring him over to me right away. So they took him over the table and began to wash him off and check his weight and vitals. He was screaming the entire time, he did not like being touched. But even his cry was so quiet, it was precious.

During this time the anesthesiologist put something into my IV to keep from shaking, those dreaded hormones, but when she did that it made my head hurt so bad. It kind of made me just feel off and like I needed to close my eyes. That feeling took a long time to go away I almost wish I was still shaking instead of that. I didn’t even feel comfortable to hold Jude when they wheeled me out because I couldn’t sit up, I felt so dizzy. So Chad carried Jude into the recovery room and I closed my eyes as they wheeled me back. I couldn’t stand to look at the ceiling and lights.

In the recovery room I continued to close my eyes and just tried to shake that feeling. Jude was calm and content in his daddy’s arms so that helped for some time. It was really hard for me not to hold him right away and he was dozing off so I was worried about not nursing him right away, but I knew that holding him while I was so dizzy was not a good idea. I needed to know that I wouldn’t drop him. It took awhile, but I had them try to raise the bed a little to see if I could handle it and once I felt better I was able to hold him.

Just looking at him, holding him, it made everything worth it in a hard pregnancy. One of the baby nurses came in at that time to check him, which was new to me. I didn’t remember that happening last time. They were a bit aggressive and pretty much took him and tried to make him nurse immediately but she was so rough Jude just kept crying. It was a bit overwhelming because they were kind of pushy. She finally said he was fine and to try later and they left, which I was fine with. Once they left I was able to get Jude latched comfortably and he ate great! Sometimes I wish I had the courage to tell the nurse to stop and let me do it, this is my third baby after all, but I don’t. Haha. She was very aggressive, so glad I only had to deal with her once!

Finally the time came to move into our room and I was feeling much better and VERY HUNGRY by then but they still would only let me do jello! When we got in the room they told me the new rules for C-Sections was to get up and walk that night. I was a little nervous to face that much sooner, but also grateful that it may help me heal quickly. We soaked up the quiet in the hospital and I just snuggled Jude. It is such an incredible feeling holding a newborn again. I don’t think it will ever get old. We had the kids wait until the evening, after naps, to come see him and that really well. I was able to get a nap in and rest, plus I could move around more by the time they came.

The kids meeting Jude was such a special moment. Jase didn’t want on the hospital bed at all, which I expected. He hates seeing me on that and it makes him nervous. But he came right over and hugged me and looked at Jude. Elyse came right over, jumped on the bed, and just marveled at Jude. You could tell she was confused about the talk about the baby coming out of mommy’s tummy. We told her and prepared her but she had no idea what that would really look like. She was definitely studying the situation and taking it all in. She wanted to hold Jude, but Jase wasn’t ready for that yet. He just wanted to touch him and kiss his face. They really did so well meeting him, the hospital setting can be overwhelming for them though. It’s also way different having a bunch of busy toddlers in the room. They didn’t stay long and only came up twice, otherwise it was just too much.

Getting up was much easier the sooner I did it! It used to be a lot more painful to walk after sleeping, but getting up within 12 hours was really good. It ended up being midnight for me which wasn’t super convenient, but it was worth it. I also tried not to take the heavier pain medications because they made me feel so weird last time, but I had to by the third day and I am glad I did. They didn’t effect me bad this time either, thankfully.

It’s an incredible experience bringing life into the world. It’s so different every time and the moment is so special and unique with every child. The comfort with the third baby, the ease into breastfeeding, diaper changes, hospital policies, and everything else that comes with having a baby just comes so naturally. I felt like I could really relax and take it in this time. We also had hardly any visitors this time which was actually very peaceful. It was a good break before easing back into with the other kids. Quiet at times, but I think it was really good for us. It was like a mini vacation before bouncing back into life. I am so thankful for another healthy, precious little boy and I can’t wait to be a part of watching him grow.

 

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Filed Under: C-Section, Family, Ferg Littles, Jude, Pregnancy Tagged With: Birth, Birth Story, C-Section, C-Section Birth, C-Section Birth Story, C-Section Stories, Planned C-Section, Repeat C-Section

Previous Post: « What God Taught Me Through an Unexpected Pregnancy
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Comments

  1. Susannah says

    August 16, 2017 at 4:04 PM

    What a great story! I’m so glad things went this well for you! <3

    Reply
    • Alessandra says

      August 20, 2017 at 3:05 PM

      Thank you friend! Definitely a moment to treasure forever!

      Reply

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

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Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

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I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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