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on January 19, 2016 · Leave a Comment

Elyse {9 Months}

How can we be this close to a year already? I know you are probably getting tired of hearing it, but it really does go by so fast. 
The last month has been full of lots of sickness for our little family, so it hasn’t been the best. Little miss caught croup for the first time and it was pretty miserable for a couple days. She’s also just had a hard to fight cold for most of the month. 
Despite that, baby girl is growing and learning every day. It is just as much fun watching them discover the world the second baby as it is with the first. I love seeing how different their personalities are and their tendencies already. She looks like she might be a good mix of her dad and my personality. She is 100% a mama’s girl through and through and I kind of hope she stays that way. It feels so special, exhausting at times, but incredibly special.
Within a matter of days this girls abilities multiplied. She went from just her usual rolling around and army crawling, to all in one day getting up on all fours, rocking, pulling up to her knees, and attempting to crawl over things. I just couldn’t believe how quickly it all happened. She is a pretty brave girl and doesn’t stop moving.
She had her first Christmas this month and it was a ton of fun having a little girl. Her and Jase are becoming more and more interactive with each other every day and it’s so much fun. 
Miss Elyse,

I am so thankful to have you as a daughter. What an answer to prayer you are. Your sweet and tender personality is much needed in our family, and we wouldn’t be the same without you. Your pure joy lights up every room with that twinkle in your eye. Your little grin is my most favorite thing and I hope it never goes away. I couldn’t be more blessed that God chose me for you. 

Until next month,

Mommy.


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Filed Under: Elyse, Family, Ferg Littles Tagged With: Monthly Update

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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