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on July 7, 2015 · Leave a Comment

Elyse 2.3 Month Update

So I have no idea where time went, but I completely forgot to post Elyse’s 2 month update. I am sure she will forgive me some day. June was such a busy month with Jase turning two and Chad spending a week at camp and me alone with two kids. 
Elyse has been busy the last two months. Little miss decided rolling over at just shy of 11 weeks was a good idea and she’s been rolling ever since. I thought it might have been a one time thing, but keeping that girl on her tummy now is an impossible task. 
Elyse is the SWEETEST little thing around. She is so tender and sweet and smiles all the time. I often catch her smiling at her big brother’s crazy self running around and being as loud as he always is and it melts my heart. I know she is going to love him big time. She’s smiling and laughing a lot. She has this little squeak in her laugh that is the CUTEST thing I have ever heard. I am not just saying that because she’s mine, but come on, a squeak in her laugh…what could be cuter?!
Elyse has finally out grown her newborn clothes and I have packed them away and we have moved into 0/3 month. She is in the 20th percentile for height and weight following along in my pattern of itty bitty babies. She takes naps like a pro, but likes to tease mama on if she’s gonna sleep

“through the night.” I put that in quotation marks because technically she is sleeping through the night, but not enough for this mama. Mostly I am getting a 10pm-5am stretch with her, she eats at 10pm, down at 10:30, and I am usually in bed by 11. She wakes most nights at 5am and I lay her next to me and nurse her and we usually both pass out until 8am when she wakes to eat again which is right around the time Jase wakes up. Occasionally she makes it from 10pm all the way to 8am which makes me think we’ve made it and then we go right back to that 5am thing. I hope she gets it soon!

Her favorite thing to do is sit up and look around and she absolutely loves being carried in a wrap. She’s timid of new people, and loves being close to her mama. She’s cooing and squealing more and more each day. I cannot believe how fast it is going. Does it go by faster the second time, because I sure do think so.
My sweet baby girl,

I just adore being your mama and watching you grow. I love your little squeak in your laugh, it brings me an unspeakable amount of joy. I love the way you cuddle right into me and bury your face into things when you’re sleepy. I love how you start to fuss when you realize you’re alone and the minute someone comes back into the room to assure you you’re alright you start smiling and cooing because all you wanted was some company. You’ve stolen my heart sweet girl, as you have everyone with the sweetest personality around. I love you baby girl…until next month. 

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Filed Under: Elyse, Family, Ferg Littles Tagged With: Monthly Update

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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