There is this unexplainable feeling that comes over you the
moment you hold your child in your arms for the first time. Tears well up in
your eyes as you look at this precious tiny being before you and suddenly you
experience an array of emotions you have never felt before. Suddenly you are
completely filled to overflowing with a love that has no words. This is the
moment your heart ceases to exist inside your body and now forever dwells
outside of your being. Is it possible a love this strong can even exist?

Shortly after you hold this tiny baby in your hands for the
first time you realize there are even more emotions to follow. You find yourself
holding back the tears as you look at this child in your arms amazed that this
precious life is what you carried inside of you for the last ten months. You’re
scared. You’re overwhelmed. You’re happy. You’re worried. Every emotion you
could possibly experience you are experiencing all at one time.

This is what it’s like to be a mother.

You feel like you’ve never felt before. You love like you’ve
never loved before. You worry like you’ve never worried before. You are harder
on yourself than you’ve ever been before. Being a mom is the hardest most
wonderful thing you will ever experience in life and it all starts with that
first moment.

I never really knew what it meant to be a mother until I
became one myself. I never experienced what truly was one of the hardest jobs
out there until I experienced being a mother. The immense pressure to hold
yourself to an unattainable position that comes with being a mom, I never knew
what that was like. I never truly understood what it was like to hurt so much
for someone who wasn’t myself. I never experienced what it was like to have
true joy from something that brought another life joy. It is an incredibly
overwhelming feeling and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I know I am not always going to get it right. I know I am
going to fail a thousand and one times. I know some days I’ll come out on top
of the world and I know other days I’ll be counting down the minutes before bed
time. But one thing I know for sure is this immense love is like no other. When
I held that little boy who made me a mom in my arms for the first time
everything within me melted. Was it possible to love someone this much? How
could I ever love anyone like I do this little boy? And then I held my daughter
in my arms for the first time and that love multiplied. The love that I didn’t
know could grow any more, that heart of mine that I thought was impossible to
hold any more love was filled to overflowing once again.

This motherhood thing, it’s tough. The last year plus of my
life has been taken over by sleepless nights, nursing sessions, dirty diapers,
spit up, and clothes that just don’t fit like they used to. But it doesn’t end
there. It has also been taken over by snuggles, tickles, playtime, belly
laughs, soft baby skin, coos & smiles, and “I wuh yous.” Motherhood is the
hardest most wonderful thing I will ever experience. It’s my heart filled to
overflowing. It’s made in me an entirely new person. I have grown so much in
this calling of being a mother and I couldn’t imagine my life without these
precious blessings. This calling into motherhood is an incredible adventure. An adventure that unfolds more and more every day.