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on May 1, 2015 · Leave a Comment

Elyse {One Month}

I honestly cannot believe I am writing her one month update already! Time sure does go by so fast!

Elyse is such a sweet, laid back baby. She rarely cries and is rarely unhappy. She is starting to have a bit more of a fussy time in the evenings, normal of course, but it really hasn’t been too bad at all. We have been blessed with such an easy baby during Jase’s crazy busy toddler season.

There is just something so special about having a little girl. I feel so entirely blessed to be the mom of a daughter and I cannot wait to see how our relationship blossoms over the years.

Little miss is starting to be awake more and more which I love! I love being able to see her eyes open and interact with her as she takes in the world around her. Currently her last feeding is at 10pm and she is asleep by 10:30/11 and sleeps until 3-4am and usually stretches again to 7-8am. I have been a lot more flexible on the schedule trying to decide what works best for us with Jase, but now that she is a month old I’ll be working with her a little more to get a bit more consistent throughout the day to see how it effects her nights. I am hoping it may even help her to be less fussy in the evenings. I have just been keeping her pretty close to me throughout the day with her reflux and projectile vomiting issues because having her out of my sight made me nervous. Thankfully she has been doing so much better so I have begun to have her take naps in the crib in her room. She sleeps better in there anyways since her noisy brother isn’t in there to wake her.

Elyse does so good being tolerant of her big brother. He loves to pat (more like smack) her on the head and tell her “eh otay, eh otay” when she’s crying and often gives (shoves) her pacifier in her mouth when she’s upset. He insists on her always having her “bankie” and “dabi” (blanket and pacifier) near by. She is so sweet and doesn’t even react. I am actually pretty sure she doesn’t know what to do when the house is quiet and her brother isn’t running around making lots of noise.

I am so blessed by this first month of being a mom of two, I cannot wait for many more to come.

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Filed Under: Elyse, Family, Ferg Littles Tagged With: Monthly Update

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. My ne ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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