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on March 18, 2015 · Leave a Comment

The Things I Never Want to Forget (vol. 2)

Awhile back I wrote a post titled, “The Things I Never Want to Forget” and over the course of motherhood I have realized there are a lot of things I never want to forget. So I have decided that there will be a series of posts on my blog just for me, so I can remember all those little things I never want to forget. I realize these posts may mean nothing to you, and you are welcome to skip right over them, but I know I will treasure going back to them one day. I am quite sure that I will go back to them with tears in my eyes each and every time.

I never want to forget the way you say “Upease” instead of “Up.” It’s absolutely the cutest and I love how much you want to snuggle with us.

I never want to forget the way you dance when Mickey Mouse Clubhouse comes on. Your little feet pitter-pattering on the ground as you copy Mickey’s hand motions on the TV. I also love how you call it “Micka” and how excited you get when it comes on.

I never want to forget the way you pretend to go bye-byes. You always come into the room where we are, give us kisses “mwah”, and say “bye-bye, see you!”

I never want to forget the excitement you show for something you want. You are one of the most animated toddlers I have ever seen. If we ask you something, and it’s something you want you start laughing and giggling, you scrunch over like you can hardly contain your excitement and you repeat what we are saying over and over. This is one of our favorite things you do. Anyone who sees it is brought so much joy.

I never want to forget the way you light up when you see people. You love people. You say hello to everyone you see, you try to carry on conversations with complete strangers. The joy that you give someone when they interact with you makes my heart so happy. I just know you are going to bring so much joy to the people you meet in life.

I love your desire to learn. You are picking up so many new words, formulating sentences, watching everything we do so you can do it too. I never want to forget watching you learn right before my eyes. It’s one of the most magical things I could have ever experienced.

I never want to forget the way you ask for “mwah” every time you get hurt. You can always come to mommy for your boo-boos and I will do everything I can to make them go away.

I never want to forget the way I hear you laugh when daddy gives you a bath. You and him have a special play time and bonding every evening and it’s adorable to listen to.

I never want to forget the way you love your daddy. We have noticed how much happier you are if you see him in the morning before he goes to work, so we try to make that happen every day. If you don’t wake up in time, you always ask for him and wonder where he is. I know you love him. You have such a great daddy.

I never want to forget how everything pink in the house you put into Si Si’s room and say it’s just for her. You think you have a baby in your belly too, it’s pretty adorable.

I never want to forget your sense of adventure. You remind us how important adventure is and I love you for that.

 

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Filed Under: Family, Ferg Littles, Jase Tagged With: Family, Ferg Littles, Jase, Motherhood

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
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Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

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This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

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Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

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I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

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I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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