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on March 30, 2015 · Leave a Comment

Jase 21 Months

 
 
This little man hitting 21 months really snuck up on me. The 17th came around so fast this month and I just can’t believe how much this guy is growing. 21 Months was also huge because I knew shortly after he hit that we would be welcoming a second child into the world and that was their age gap. What a crazy month this has been! 

 
 
Peanut,
 
I really cannot believe another month has gone by that quickly! This stage is so different than any stage we have experienced yet. You are learning so much and you want to learn so much that it results in lots of meltdowns. They always tell you the toddler years are the worst because toddlers are in that whole terrible twos thing and it’s just stressful. I do agree that toddler years are definitely trying and they definitely aren’t easy, but I know it’s because you are wanting to discover so much and I think that is amazing. You only get frustrated because you can’t communicate what you are trying to get across or because you aren’t understanding what it is we are communicating to you. It’s all about teaching you to communicate and formulate those words and ideas that you need to get across what you are trying to say. You are like a sponge soaking everything up.
 
 
You are still in this stage where you repeat a lot of what we say. Your dad always says “oh boy” all dramatic like and you have started to do the same thing and it makes me laugh every time. I also finally got you to say your sister’s name, “Weese” is what you call her and it is the cutest. I can’t wait to hear you call her that when she is here. You love going into her room and saying “this sissy’s” over and over. I am not sure quite how much you understand, you may think she is some invisible person we reference so much, but I cannot wait to see how you interact with her.
 
 
You have all of a sudden decided to become a big boy over night. You ask to walk everywhere. You don’t want to sit in a shopping cart, which that’s the one place I really can’t allow you to walk because you get into everything. But you walk yourself to the car. You walk yourself to church. You walk yourself to class at church. You rarely sit in the stroller anymore. You are such a big boy. You put up a fight when we eat out too now, so it’s becoming an even more rare thing we do these days. I guess you’re just trying to save us money.
 
 
Your favorite toy right now is the big cardboard box that mommy’s glider came in. You play in that thing every night. Not sure why you have so many toys with the amount of joy that box brings you. Whenever you get hurt you run over to me or your daddy and say “mwah” asking for a kiss to make it “all booter.” You are way advanced for your age in all the words and sentences you are beginning to formulate it is really cool.
 
 
I am so excited to see what this next month brings for us little man. You stepping into role of big brother, I cannot wait to see you in action.
 
Until next month,
 
Mommy. 

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Filed Under: Family, Ferg Littles, Jase Tagged With: Family, Ferg Littles, Jase, Jase Monthly Update Year 2

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

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Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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