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on February 28, 2015 · Leave a Comment

34 Week Bumpdate

Gender:

GIRL!!! See our announcement photo here. Did anyone else ever have this crazy fear that you’re going to go into labor and find out you’ve actually been pregnant with a boy this entire time?! Ha! All those crazy stories about people being told they were having a girl and then later finding out it was actually a boy are really getting to me! We haven’t had an ultrasound since 20 weeks so I think that doesn’t help.

Name:

Elyse Ann. I love the name more and more every day!

Due Date:

My due date is April 5, 2015, but we have a repeat C-section officially scheduled for March 31st at 9am! If she comes on her own once I have hit full term they will just do an unplanned C-Section. Part of me is kind of praying that she comes early and that ends up being the case because her current C-Section is scheduled for Easter week and being in ministry that’s a very hard week to have a baby! It’s been a little hectic trying to make sure everything is covered for three days of services that weekend. God ultimately knows the best time for her to arrive, but really early would be great! Don’t we all say that?

Weight Gain:

My starting weight was about 128. At my last appointment I was at 152, so now we are at 24 pounds! So definitely more than I gained with Jase since I only gained 22 with him. But still in the healthy range. I really am hoping that I don’t gain more than 30, but I know what matters is that she is healthy.

 Movement:
She moves all the time! She is also very good at getting into spots that cause mommy a lot of pain. But I love knowing she’s alright in there and I love feeling her move around. It truly is such a blessing.

Craving:
I can’t really think of any huge craving I have had recently. Although I get really hungry and need to eat, I can’t eat too much of anything or else I have so much indigestion. So food and I kind of have a love hate relationship.

Yucky:

Still can’t handle Mexican at all. And I have to be super careful about what I eat because digestion is going so slow. If I eat until I am full then I will feel huge and sick for a couple hours. I have to just eat enough to satisfy any hunger pains and stop. That is the not so fun part about the end of pregnancy.

Feeling:
Very sore. I tripped last week and tore a ligament in my lower abdomen, I have been pretty much couch stuck since. Anytime I try to move it is extremely painful. Sometimes I am able to walk it out a little and it’s fine, but the more I move the worse it gets so it’s been a lot of resting for this mama. I’m really ready to meet this little girl, definitely a lot more anxious now then I was with Jase.

Differences:

The end of pregnancy emotions you always get, you know the ones that are like oh my gosh I am about to have a tiny human in the house with me? Well those are magnified the second time around when you think, oh my gosh I am going to have two tiny humans with me and one will be a newborn who never sleeps and a toddler who never stops going. It is a little overwhelming and scary. I just go back and forth between wondering if I am going to handle it, how peanut’s going to handle it, and everything in between. So the emotions seem a bit more heavy this time around.
Looking Forward to:

I really just cannot wait to hold this little girl and see her beautiful face! I can’t wait to see how Jase responds to her, and how much her daddy is going to love her when he first sees her. I am just so ready for all the things that come with loving on a precious newborn again.

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Filed Under: Elyse, Ferg Littles, Pregnancy Tagged With: Bumpdate, pregnancy, pregnancy update, second pregnancy

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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