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on October 5, 2014 · 5 Comments

It’s Not About What I Gave Up

One of the most heartbreaking assumptions I have encountered
on my journey of motherhood is the idea that I have missed out on so much life
having children so young. My husband and I met when I was 17, engaged the day I
turned 19 and married seven months later, and found out we were expecting our
first child when I was 21. To so many people I wasted the best days of my life.
I missed out on the opportunity to really live, to really explore myself, and
to live my dreams. Never once have I felt this to be true, in fact I believe I have
gained so much more from marrying young (a post for another day) and entering
the world of motherhood at a young age.
Sure, you give up a lot to be a mom. You sacrifice a lot. If
you remember my post from yesterday, being a mom just doesn’t fit into your
already perfectly planned out life. Becoming a mom plays a major role in how
every day moving forward will come to pass. But if you never look past the sacrifice
of being a mother, you will never see the beauty gained in life from having
children.
I said this would be unfiltered. I promised you this would
be real. Some days when you are in the trenches of this motherhood thing, it
feels like you are missing out. When you’re knee deep in dirty diapers, spit
up, screaming children, and an out of control house you could take a deep
breath and think of the peaceful coffee date with yourself you are missing out
on right now. When getting out of the house because you can’t stand it anymore
takes so much effort that just the process leaves you more stressed than the
stress level you were at before the need for a break, therefore making the
whole idea worthless. These days in the trenches make it so easy to think on
all the things you’ve lost, all the things you are missing, and all the things
you could be doing. These days leave you weary thinking maybe you missed the
line somewhere. Oh, sweet mama, don’t let this steal that joy. If you can hear
me now as I speak to you, don’t let the trenches of life keep you from
experiencing the beauty on the other side.

There is sacrifice in motherhood, but there is so much
beauty. There is so much to be gained from becoming a mother. Children open
your eyes to an entirely different perspective to the world around you. They
bring a joy in your life that is unexplainable. Children look at the world full
of wonder and remind you not to take the little things for granted. I didn’t
lose a chance at exploring the world; I gained an entire new perspective on
what this world had to offer. I experienced life being formed before my eyes
with every kick from within me. I experienced growth that each season brought.
I experienced love that could shake you to your very core. Starting so young
didn’t take anything away from me; it didn’t cause me to miss out on the best
part of life, and has enabled me to enjoy the best part of life even longer. It’s
not about everything I gave up, it’s about everything I gained. 
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Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: 31 Days 2014, Motherhood

Previous Post: « Motherhood Doesn’t Fit
Next Post: Take a Time Out »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Heather Leigh @ Like a Morning cup of coffee says

    October 6, 2014 at 4:38 PM

    Love this girl!!! And it's so true. I wouldn't trade being a young wife/mom for anything 🙂

    Reply
  2. Chelle @ GlitterStitchStudio says

    October 6, 2014 at 8:58 PM

    Well I am not a "Young" mom but I was at one point and I experienced having a baby at 20 almost 21 and now I wouldn't change a thing! The best advice is to look at the world through your children's eyes! It can change your whole perspective on life. Keep your head up your not sacrificing your gaining!!!

    Reply
  3. Mariel Collins says

    October 7, 2014 at 4:31 PM

    Beautiful post! Although I am not a young mom or wife by any means lol, I do believe the Lord allows you things to happen on His perfect timing. It's a blessing to be mommies and wives at 19 or at 45. Like you said it is all about looking at what you have gained:)

    Reply
  4. Amy Will says

    October 9, 2014 at 1:09 AM

    Yes, this is absolutely beautiful and it is definitely the truth. Motherhood does mean sacrificing so much, but at the same time the blessings are even more wonderful than whatever we gave up to be moms 🙂 Children are such a beautiful (and sometimes very messy) gift from God!

    Amy @ http://www.livinglifetruth.com/

    Reply
  5. Renee says

    November 5, 2014 at 3:35 PM

    "enabled me to enjoy the best part of life even longer"
    yes yes yes!

    Reply

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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