I haven’t been sleeping the past few nights. I lay in bed for hours and just cannot fall asleep. It is exhausting.

So, in my exhaustion and your fussiness, I just sat on the couch and held you tight.



The minute I pressed your little belly against my chest, the way you like to be held most you calmed. I stuck your pacifier in and you just looked up at me calm and cool. Your little blue eyes made my heart melt. It is amazing how only a mom knows the way her child likes to be held. How I know just the way you like to be patted. It is like you know too, only mom’s arms can do that to you. It makes me feel special.

I told you how big I thought you were getting. How fun it has been to watch you grow. I told you about the little rosebud face you used to make as a newborn. I told you I could tell you loved worship music. I told you that your Meme and Grandpa and Aunt and Uncles were getting ready to come visit you. I told you it would be the first time you met your grandpa and uncles. I told you that you were growing so fast. I told you that you were learning to sit and doing a great job.

I made faces at you. I laughed. I smiled.

You looked at me with your big blue eyes and would smile as the little pacifier hung barely in your mouth. You just smiled at me.

I am so blessed to be your mom. It is so hard sometimes. Sometimes I feel a bit lonely, being in the house this much is not something I have always done. Still, I have never been so full of joy. Just something about your little self that does that to me.

You started swinging your hands all over the place when you nurse now. Sometimes you hit me repetitively. Then you started putting your hand all over my face – sometimes pinching my nose. Recently you started to twirl my hair through your fingers. At least it’s not pinching my nose.

You love to be tossed in the air. You laugh this big ol’ belly laugh that your dad and I can’t help but melt every time. You are the most ticklish little thing there ever was.

We walked through Target Christmas shopping with you last night and you were so loud, but you were so full of joy. You were turning heads every aisle we walked down as you laughed and babbled through the entire store.

You are such a sweet boy. You are so full of joy. You love worship. You love people.

But most importantly you love your mommy and daddy. You look up at your daddy with a huge smile when he walks in the door from work. You grab our faces and pull us close to you. It is the sweetest thing.

I do not ever want to forget these moments with you, my precious baby boy. You have shown me God’s love in an entirely new way. I pray that we can teach you to love Jesus. I pray that we can teach you the importance of being a gentleman. I pray that you will always be so full of joy. I pray that you will always have a love for worship. I pray that you will always love people, because that is what God calls us to do.

I am so thankful God chose me to be your mom. I am so thankful that I will have these moments to treasure forever.