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on November 5, 2013 · 3 Comments

It’s Only A Season – Real Motherhood

Just like with anything else in life, motherhood has its seasons. I am learning that.

I am an extremely social person. I love being out and about, I love being busy, and I love being spontaneous. I really enjoy getting out of the house and being around other people, I thrive on it. Really, I am a much happier person when I have had time with people.

Since entering into this new season of motherhood leaving the house hasn’t happened as often as it used to. Some days I don’t even know what it looks like outside my front door. I am being completely serious, like I couldn’t tell you if it was raining or if the sun was shining. Want to know if you need a jacket? Well I couldn’t tell you. Coming from a girl who worked at least three days a week, went to church, and was famous for spontaneous outings, those words are surprising. My days are usually spent nursing, changing diapers, playing, laying down for naps, and trying to work on my church responsibilities, and maybe just maybe squeeze in some blogging during those naps. (I’ll let you figure out if I even shower most days).

But, this is real motherhood, and it’s only a season.

It hasn’t been easy the entire time. There have been moments where I have desperately needed to leave the house baby free in order to keep my sanity. There have been moments where I have thought if I didn’t go anywhere I was going to break down. It’s only a season. Surprisingly, it hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be for me. I know that it is only a season that my little one is going to require this much attention. It’s only a season where he will be this time consuming.

As Jase approached his fourth month things already began to change. He switched over to eating every four hours (which all mothers who know how that feels shout for joy) and each of his naps are roughly two hours. Already this has made a huge difference! It’s so much easier to go out with a greater time gap between his feedings. With the two hour naps, I can get so much done at home. It’s incredible what one extra hour between feedings can do!

Real motherhood is a life adventure that comes in many seasons. Some seasons require more time at home pouring into your little one. Some seasons allow a little more freedom and allow you to be out and about. Some seasons leave you a lot of freedom and have you counting down the time until your children get off the bus. In every season there will be days that are hard, there will be days that are easy, there will be days that are exhausting, and there will be moments you wish you could hold onto. That’s the beauty of real motherhood.

So these days that I spent wondering what was outside my door I won’t change for a thing. My little one is growing up before my eyes. He is growing and discovering more and more each day. In fact, he is beginning to realize when mom and dad are leaving him in unfamiliar places. The past three Wednesdays he has been too fussy to stay in the church nursery. Each week he has been brought to me and I immediately feel the weight of “why does my child fight the nursery when I have so many responsibilities of my own?” When I want to sit there and be frustrated that he hasn’t stayed in there easily, instead I find joy in knowing that my son wants to be with his mom. Soon the day will come where he can’t wait to be at church and spend time with his friends. Soon the day will come when he is happy to leave the presence of his mama. This is just a season and every season comes and goes. I wouldn’t change them for a thing.

This is just a season. This is real motherhood. The good, the bad, the tough, the easy, the things we wish didn’t happen, and the moments we wish we could hold onto forever.

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Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: Motherhood

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Amanda Jadwin says

    November 5, 2013 at 3:33 AM

    Very well said. I actually needed to read this tonight… the past few days have been rough 🙂

    Reply
  2. Sarah Notes says

    November 5, 2013 at 6:37 PM

    This has been my mantra, too, lately: THIS IS JUST A SEASON. I love how you look at Jace not staying in the nursery…I try so hard to keep that perspective, too, but man it's hard sometime! Since LL was born, I've been so focused on trying to "be all there" and to enjoy the season, sometimes it surprises me when that season IS over!

    Reply
  3. Mandi @ Messy Wife, Blessed Life says

    November 8, 2013 at 6:49 PM

    The think about "real" motherhood that I think people don't seem to get across enough is that motherhood is always changing. Once you think you have a rhythm, or a sleeping pattern, or whatever, you're on to something new. I think that makes moms in general an adaptable, think-on-your-feet bunch.

    Reply

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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