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on September 17, 2013 · 1 Comment

Love

what-love-is
A mother’s love.

It’s fierce. It’s powerful. It’s overwhelming. It’s
overtaking. It’s strong.

 

And many times it has me in tears.

 

When I look at this boy in my arms, I am so overwhelmed. As
he looks at me and smiles, my eyes well up with tears and I ask myself how just
looking at this little one can bring me to tears.

 

It’s love.

 

It’s this intense kind of love that not even I can
understand the depth of it. I just know I love this little man more than words
can say. There’s this connection that is between the two of us that no words
can explain.

 

Then there’s my husband. I love him so much. When I married
him I didn’t think I could ever love him more than I already did. I didn’t
think it was possible to love any one human as much as I loved him.

 

Then we brought a child into this world together. I may have
gone through labor for that boy. I may have lay on a table and had to get cut
open for that boy. But we brought that child into the world together. My
husband was by my side, groggy eyed, anxious, and stomach empty he didn’t leave
my side. He cried with me, he held my hand, he supported me. And I loved him
more than I ever have before. I didn’t even think that was possible.

The love I had for my husband was taken to an entirely new
level when we brought a baby into this world.

The love I have for my son overwhelms me so much.

 

Then I stop and think. I look at them and realize there is a
love that is greater than the love I have for them. God loves me more than I
love either of these two guys.

 

Wow.

 

I am speechless. I am brought to tears over this truth.

 

I can’t even explain in words the love I feel for these two.
I don’t even see how love can be greater than that.

 

But love is.

 

Love from a heavenly Father is far greater. The love my
Father has for me is far greater than the love I could offer anyone. This love
sends His son to die on the cross for an undeserving me. This love wraps His
arms around me when I need it most. This love laughs at all my jokes and
listens to me talk even when I’ve talked all night long. This love never gets
tired of who I am, because who I am is because of Him.

 

I am so undeserving of this love. Yet, He still loves me.
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Filed Under: Faith, Marriage, Motherhood Tagged With: Faith, Marriage, Motherhood

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  1. Shannon @Imperfectly Perfect Grace says

    September 17, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Isn't that like totally incredible to think that God's love for us is sooo much more than that love we have for our little ones and spouses! It's overwhelmingly good and hard to wrap your brain around it! Soo good!

    Reply

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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive becom Sometimes, the habits that helped us survive become the hardest to unlearn. Those patterns once kept you safe, but now you’re learning they don’t need to anymore. 

Give yourself grace—you’re unlearning survival. Healing takes time, and with each layer you peel back, you’re discovering the person you’ve always been beneath the survival.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

But I know that’s not true.

This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

This year has offered plenty of opportunities for me to say, “Okay God, you have my yes, wherever that leads.”

No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

But God said “it’s time” and my faith-filled husband said “Yes.” I have to admit, I don’t envy how hard this decision was for him. It affects us both, yes. But he had to walk it out. And I’m so grateful for His leadership and faith to Jesus to step into the next season when there are so many unknowns.

Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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