I’ve shared a little on blog land recently about how I feel
God has been truly getting ready to prepare my husband and I for a new season
in life. There have been lots of things stirring in our hearts and lots of
feelings of change. I’m sure that everyone who has made the transition from
being married, just the two of you, to welcoming a new baby into the world
knows that just that alone is change enough. That’s what we thought to, but God
has decided that this is a great time for a lot of transition.
A couple months ago I was having a really tough day. I don’t
really know what it was, but something just wasn’t settling right with me and I
couldn’t figure out what it was. I was texting a friend off and on and she said
one simple statement that really got me thinking. I can’t even remember what
she said, no matter how hard I try, but I know that it struck something in me.
It gave me a really antsy feeling that I couldn’t shake. I knew right then that
I needed to pull away, turn on some worship music, and pray until my Spirit
settled. I started journaling and writing out all the mess that seemed to be
running through my head. At one point in our conversation, my friend had
brought up the idea about me staying home with the baby when he came and
possibly doing home daycare as I had did part time the year before. It would
bring in extra income and give me the opportunity to be home with my son. I had
toyed around with the thought a few times, but I never really dwelled on it
very long. I just kept using the excuse that I didn’t want to step down from
working at church before it was time just to make a little extra money. So I
avoided ever really considering the option.
really know what it was, but something just wasn’t settling right with me and I
couldn’t figure out what it was. I was texting a friend off and on and she said
one simple statement that really got me thinking. I can’t even remember what
she said, no matter how hard I try, but I know that it struck something in me.
It gave me a really antsy feeling that I couldn’t shake. I knew right then that
I needed to pull away, turn on some worship music, and pray until my Spirit
settled. I started journaling and writing out all the mess that seemed to be
running through my head. At one point in our conversation, my friend had
brought up the idea about me staying home with the baby when he came and
possibly doing home daycare as I had did part time the year before. It would
bring in extra income and give me the opportunity to be home with my son. I had
toyed around with the thought a few times, but I never really dwelled on it
very long. I just kept using the excuse that I didn’t want to step down from
working at church before it was time just to make a little extra money. So I
avoided ever really considering the option.
I absolutely love my job. When I was attending the college
at church my practicum focus was in the Elementary department. I spent three
years serving in the ministry as a college student at various levels. As my
graduation was approaching the Children’s Director offered me a position on
staff. I was thrilled to come out of school and have the opportunity to be a
part of something I loved so much. So I went straight from being a college
student focusing on children’s ministry, to being on staff. I have had the
chance to do so many different things on staff and work in different aspects of
kid’s ministry. I moved to Missouri for school, and since I have been here I
have been a part of this ministry the entire time. It’s all I’ve really known.
at church my practicum focus was in the Elementary department. I spent three
years serving in the ministry as a college student at various levels. As my
graduation was approaching the Children’s Director offered me a position on
staff. I was thrilled to come out of school and have the opportunity to be a
part of something I loved so much. So I went straight from being a college
student focusing on children’s ministry, to being on staff. I have had the
chance to do so many different things on staff and work in different aspects of
kid’s ministry. I moved to Missouri for school, and since I have been here I
have been a part of this ministry the entire time. It’s all I’ve really known.
In processing those thoughts I wrote in my journal, “Maybe
it’s not being scared of stepping down before it was time but being scared to
consider the option of letting go.” I immediately started balling my eyes out
when I wrote those words down because I knew that there was truth in that
statement. I was scared at even considering stepping down from something I have
been a part of since I moved here. I love children’s ministry and what God has
done in my heart through it, I really didn’t want to let go of it. I wrote. I
cried. I wrote. I cried. I probably did this for the next hour until my husband
got home. The minute he opened the door he looked at me and knew right away, “Did
you have a rough day today?” I started balling, again. My dear husband thought
I was just overcome with pregnancy hormones and sat down on the couch next to
me and held me until I was ready to talk. I poured everything out to him in a
sobbing mess. He listened and then gently began to speak.
it’s not being scared of stepping down before it was time but being scared to
consider the option of letting go.” I immediately started balling my eyes out
when I wrote those words down because I knew that there was truth in that
statement. I was scared at even considering stepping down from something I have
been a part of since I moved here. I love children’s ministry and what God has
done in my heart through it, I really didn’t want to let go of it. I wrote. I
cried. I wrote. I cried. I probably did this for the next hour until my husband
got home. The minute he opened the door he looked at me and knew right away, “Did
you have a rough day today?” I started balling, again. My dear husband thought
I was just overcome with pregnancy hormones and sat down on the couch next to
me and held me until I was ready to talk. I poured everything out to him in a
sobbing mess. He listened and then gently began to speak.
Now you have to understand, my husband is a very quiet,
gentle person. Usually when I have moments like this and I pour my heart out to
him, he just holds me and listens and offers small statements of encouragement.
Usually, he takes time to process things before coming back and saying more.
But this time he had a lot to say. He shared with me how it had been on his
heart for me to step down from my job at church and stay home with our son. He
shared all his reasons why and they all lined up with what I had been feeling
all day. God moment? I think yes.
gentle person. Usually when I have moments like this and I pour my heart out to
him, he just holds me and listens and offers small statements of encouragement.
Usually, he takes time to process things before coming back and saying more.
But this time he had a lot to say. He shared with me how it had been on his
heart for me to step down from my job at church and stay home with our son. He
shared all his reasons why and they all lined up with what I had been feeling
all day. God moment? I think yes.
We decided we would continue to pray about it over the next
few weeks. We found out some mentors of ours, a family Chad has known for most
of his life, was coming into town that weekend. They are children’s pastors
themselves and we knew that they would be able to offer a lot of wisdom. We
went out to lunch with them and shared what was on our hearts. Immediately this
couple had so much to offer us. The wife reminded me that my number one
ministry was my husband and my children, first and foremost. If I am running a
ministry at church and my home is falling apart then I am not doing what God is
calling me to do. Her husband asked me a few questions. Would I still be able
to be involved? Of course! I mean, I would take some time off with the baby,
and then could jump into volunteering. Chad could still volunteer and receive the
training he was getting to prepare for ministry. He asked a few other questions….and
then his final question was the good one. He said, “If you can still be around,
you can still volunteer, you can still be involved with the kids, then what do
you have to lose stepping down.” I couldn’t respond with one thing. When we
left, I told my husband I had nothing that I could think of losing if I stepped
down, but I thought of so many things I would lose if I didn’t stay home with
our son and it broke my heart.
few weeks. We found out some mentors of ours, a family Chad has known for most
of his life, was coming into town that weekend. They are children’s pastors
themselves and we knew that they would be able to offer a lot of wisdom. We
went out to lunch with them and shared what was on our hearts. Immediately this
couple had so much to offer us. The wife reminded me that my number one
ministry was my husband and my children, first and foremost. If I am running a
ministry at church and my home is falling apart then I am not doing what God is
calling me to do. Her husband asked me a few questions. Would I still be able
to be involved? Of course! I mean, I would take some time off with the baby,
and then could jump into volunteering. Chad could still volunteer and receive the
training he was getting to prepare for ministry. He asked a few other questions….and
then his final question was the good one. He said, “If you can still be around,
you can still volunteer, you can still be involved with the kids, then what do
you have to lose stepping down.” I couldn’t respond with one thing. When we
left, I told my husband I had nothing that I could think of losing if I stepped
down, but I thought of so many things I would lose if I didn’t stay home with
our son and it broke my heart.
At that moment I knew exactly what God wanted me to do.
So, I share this story so that I can share in my new season
of life with you. Sometimes change and letting go of something you love is hard
at first. It doesn’t always come easy, and change doesn’t always bring a whole
lot of excitement. Sometimes change catches us off guard. I always knew that I
would one day leave this job, my husband and I know this isn’t a permanent place
and we will one day be Children’s Pastors somewhere else, but I always thought
that would be when I left. But God was telling me now is the time, now is time
for a new season. It was hard to let go and consider that option at first,
there’s so much unknown! But the minute I made the step and talked to my boss
about what God had placed on my heart, I knew it was the right thing. I have so
much peace and have been so excited about the opportunity to be a mom in this
season of life.
of life with you. Sometimes change and letting go of something you love is hard
at first. It doesn’t always come easy, and change doesn’t always bring a whole
lot of excitement. Sometimes change catches us off guard. I always knew that I
would one day leave this job, my husband and I know this isn’t a permanent place
and we will one day be Children’s Pastors somewhere else, but I always thought
that would be when I left. But God was telling me now is the time, now is time
for a new season. It was hard to let go and consider that option at first,
there’s so much unknown! But the minute I made the step and talked to my boss
about what God had placed on my heart, I knew it was the right thing. I have so
much peace and have been so excited about the opportunity to be a mom in this
season of life.
This is just the first step in this new season God has shown
us, I will continue to share more with you this week. But right now, I just
want to encourage you that there are always going to be different seasons in
our life. Sometimes we may have to let go of something for a season, which
doesn’t necessarily mean it will be forever, but maybe just for a season. Or
maybe that will be the last time you are ever in that place, but it’s because
God has bigger plans. That’s the beauty of our destiny that God has for us
unfolding. God has every intricate detail of our life planned out; He knows
what He is doing. We are just mere vessels in His hand to be used in this world
to complete what He has called us to do. When God brings one season to close in
your life, be thankful for everything that you learned throughout it. Look
forward in anticipation at what God is going to do through you and in you in
your new season!
us, I will continue to share more with you this week. But right now, I just
want to encourage you that there are always going to be different seasons in
our life. Sometimes we may have to let go of something for a season, which
doesn’t necessarily mean it will be forever, but maybe just for a season. Or
maybe that will be the last time you are ever in that place, but it’s because
God has bigger plans. That’s the beauty of our destiny that God has for us
unfolding. God has every intricate detail of our life planned out; He knows
what He is doing. We are just mere vessels in His hand to be used in this world
to complete what He has called us to do. When God brings one season to close in
your life, be thankful for everything that you learned throughout it. Look
forward in anticipation at what God is going to do through you and in you in
your new season!
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What a hard decision to make. But you are making the one that is right for you all. It will be a new season in live, exciting and challenging, but amazing and such a blessing:) Praying for you all!
How exciting for you! By your words, I can tell that you love being in the ministry. Your mentors sound very wise.
The main example I have is of my mother staying home with us in our formative years (she had a part time job while we were in school but was always home when we got there if someone else brought us home) and what an impact that made not only in my early childhood but in my later years. Such a difference! So much so, I pray that when the time comes for my husband and I, I will have the same opportunity to stay at home with our little ones. I can't wait!
I'm excited for you!
I am praying over you in this very moment, friend. I have no clue as to what you are going through with being pregnant, adding to your family of two, and stepping down from a job and ministry that you love. However, I know transition in itself is tough no matter what type of transition it may be. I love your encouragement and your passion for the kiddos in this world. Letting go and allowing God to take over the reigns will bring multiple blessings into your home and life, no matter where you are serving in His kingdom. Keeping you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers as you make even bigger steps together in this life in the coming weeks 🙂
You are so inspiring!! Thank you for sharing from your heart…it really encouraged me as I'm going through a new season of life too, with my new job. I'm praying for you, and I know you're going to make a wonderful mother!!