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on March 22, 2013 · Leave a Comment

Late Night Thoughts: Purpose





I need you.

You’re what I need.

You’re who I long for.

You are my strength.

You are my sense of
purpose.

I know I need you in
every aspect of my life. I need you to be in my life: molding me into who you
want me to be. I need you shaping me into a woman who will fulfill her destiny.
I honestly could not imagine taking every step in my life without knowing that
I had a purpose. Not knowing that my purpose in life was resting with you. Me…so
undeserving of everything you are…yet you give me purpose. You direct my every
step. You open doors and close doors in my life. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes
it’s easy. But no matter what I know that what you have for me in this life is
far better than I could ever imagine. I want to embrace the purpose you have
for my life completely.

In a quiet moment tonight I was just completely overwhelmed
by God and who He is. I was completely overwhelmed by my need for Him. Not only
was my desperate need for Him so evident, but my desire for Him. I couldn’t
imagine living this life without Him. I couldn’t imagine walking around with no
sense of purpose. My goals and dreams mean nothing if they weren’t driven by
the purpose that God has placed in my life.

I am overwhelmed that God would have a specific plan for my
life. I am overjoyed with discovering more and more of who He is to me. I am
beyond thankful that I can live this life out with a sense of purpose of who
God is calling me to be.

Isn’t it amazing knowing that God has a purpose for you?
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You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love You deserve to exist, with the same grace and love that you so freely give to your family. It’s not just about holding space for them; it’s about holding space for you, too.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make room for others.

You deserve to take up space too.
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And if you’re anything like me, you’ll really learn to love her. ❤️
✨ NEW SEASON ✨ I’m not a big fan of change. ✨ NEW SEASON ✨

I’m not a big fan of change. My nervous system gets all panicky and tends to over research every possibility that could take place. It likes to tell me safety is in the details. 

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This year has been a big year of growth for me in this department. Trauma told me control was my safety, but the truth was all I ever had was a false sense of control. 

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No over research. No over analyzing. No predicting every possibility. No trying to control the outcome.

Just a heart that says, “Yes.” 

Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m nervous how it will turn out. Even when it feels like right now isn’t bad. Even when my heart’s confused. 

Even when….

God has been asking us both a lot lately, “Do I have your yes, no matter what that looks like?” Friday was the end of a season for Chad working at the Appliance Guys, and today starts a new season of a new company. It was NOT an easy decision, and it came with a lot of tears (mainly from me - are you surprised?). His boss, where he’s been for the last almost six years, has been an incredible support for our family as we walked through some of the hardest seasons of our family. They will always hold a special place in our heart.

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Sometimes, all God wants to know is does He have our “YES” no matter what that means. No matter what that changes. 

May I live my life in a way that has an open heart to hear from God and a willingness to say “YES” even when….

(PS he was so thrilled I made him take this photo. 😂 But I know this season will be one we forever ever want to remember, because God always shows His faithfulness).
I wonder if they would have chosen life for her. I wonder if they would have chosen life for her.

I wonder if they would have seen what was growing inside of her, and the fight that was about to come on the other side, if they would have said her life was worth saving.

I wonder if they would have discounted her before she had a chance. 

I wonder if they would have made a prediction about her quality of life and deemed her not worth the cost.

I wonder if they would have saw the life saving measures she would need and decided that it was worse to let her live.

I wonder if they would have saw everything that could go wrong, the bleak prognosis, and compared her to statistics. 

I wonder if they would have made a choice to encourage a decision that robbed us all of the miracle we see today.

Whether 48 hours or 4 years - her life has changed mine for the better. It’s heartbreaking to think someone may have once told me she wasn’t worth it.

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