God created us as relational beings. Naturally,
relationships are and should be a huge part of our lives. God has very specific
principles laid out in His word about friendship, even more He gave us great
examples. I really believe that today the world carries the word friend so
lightly that even we as Christians forget how important that title really is.
The world is so consumed with popularity – how many friends you have, how many
people want to be around you, how many followers you have on twitter, etc. If
you have all those things, then you must be a good friend because people love
you. But that’s not what it’s about at all.
A true friend is someone who you will find really standing
in your corner.
in your corner.
My mom always told me growing up that I would come to a
place in my life where I would call very few people “friend.” And it’s not that
I wouldn’t love being around a lot of people, or really enjoy being a part of
other people’s lives, or they being a part of mine. It just meant that there
would be very few people who would truly be in my corner throughout life.
place in my life where I would call very few people “friend.” And it’s not that
I wouldn’t love being around a lot of people, or really enjoy being a part of
other people’s lives, or they being a part of mine. It just meant that there
would be very few people who would truly be in my corner throughout life.
Here are some of the main things that I truly believe God
taught me this past year. He really opened my eyes to see things in a different
way and recognize the importance of friendships in life.
taught me this past year. He really opened my eyes to see things in a different
way and recognize the importance of friendships in life.
Seasonal Friend: There
are some people in life that will only be there for a season. It doesn’t
necessarily mean that they were a bad friend, or that you were a bad friend, or
that you or the other person did anything wrong. Sometimes certain people are
just in your life for a season. It may be because you are going to learn and
grow from a relationship with that person, or they are going to grow from being
in a relationship with you, maybe even both. These friends walk with you in a
season of life, and then they’re gone. You should never look at those seasonal
friendships as a waste of time, or allow it to cause you to think any less of
yourself or the other person. God had this person in your life for whatever
reason, you may not know now, you may know later, or you may never know. But
all that matters is that God knew what He was doing when He brought you and
that friend together.
are some people in life that will only be there for a season. It doesn’t
necessarily mean that they were a bad friend, or that you were a bad friend, or
that you or the other person did anything wrong. Sometimes certain people are
just in your life for a season. It may be because you are going to learn and
grow from a relationship with that person, or they are going to grow from being
in a relationship with you, maybe even both. These friends walk with you in a
season of life, and then they’re gone. You should never look at those seasonal
friendships as a waste of time, or allow it to cause you to think any less of
yourself or the other person. God had this person in your life for whatever
reason, you may not know now, you may know later, or you may never know. But
all that matters is that God knew what He was doing when He brought you and
that friend together.
Not-so-in-your-corner Friend: These are those people that you may find yourself running to when you
want to complain, vent, or cry to and you want someone to “take your side.” You
know when certain things take place in life there are certain people you can go
to who will just encourage your bad attitude or even create one in you. These
are the ones that will defend you no matter what you know they will always take
your side. But, I’ve got to tell you…these friends are far from taking your
side. These friends do nothing for you but encourage you to stay in a place
where you pity yourself or think you are better than anyone else. If you have
people like this in your life, these are not people that are helping you grow.
want to complain, vent, or cry to and you want someone to “take your side.” You
know when certain things take place in life there are certain people you can go
to who will just encourage your bad attitude or even create one in you. These
are the ones that will defend you no matter what you know they will always take
your side. But, I’ve got to tell you…these friends are far from taking your
side. These friends do nothing for you but encourage you to stay in a place
where you pity yourself or think you are better than anyone else. If you have
people like this in your life, these are not people that are helping you grow.
Not right for you friend: This
one kind of follows right behind the Not-so-in-your-corner-friend. This person
isn’t necessarily someone who isn’t friend material, but for whatever reason
just isn’t the best person for you. There are great people out there, truly godly
people, but for whatever reason they may just not be the best friend for you.
They may just do things that you can’t necessarily agree with and still be able
to carry out a friendship. They may be in a different stage of life than you
and you need to be around someone who can walk with you through where you are
in life. It’s okay to have a few friends that are in different season of life
as you, but there comes a point where you have to surround yourself with people
who are walking where you are walking in life. There is just more common ground
that you will have to grow you as a person by surrounding yourself with these
people.
one kind of follows right behind the Not-so-in-your-corner-friend. This person
isn’t necessarily someone who isn’t friend material, but for whatever reason
just isn’t the best person for you. There are great people out there, truly godly
people, but for whatever reason they may just not be the best friend for you.
They may just do things that you can’t necessarily agree with and still be able
to carry out a friendship. They may be in a different stage of life than you
and you need to be around someone who can walk with you through where you are
in life. It’s okay to have a few friends that are in different season of life
as you, but there comes a point where you have to surround yourself with people
who are walking where you are walking in life. There is just more common ground
that you will have to grow you as a person by surrounding yourself with these
people.
Bring you down (friend): These
people don’t really know how to be a friend. These are the people that can’t
handle conflict very well and end up bringing you down. These are the people
that tell jokes at the cost of dishonoring you as a person. Sometimes they can
be completely different with you than they are behind your back. They are the
people that you will find talking about you in negative ways instead of
building you up. These people are doing nothing for you but tearing you down….they
weren’t really a true friend in the first place. Don’t allow someone in your
life who is speaking negatively into who you are as a person. Don’t allow
yourself to be walked over, know when you have to cut these friends off to
protect yourself.
people don’t really know how to be a friend. These are the people that can’t
handle conflict very well and end up bringing you down. These are the people
that tell jokes at the cost of dishonoring you as a person. Sometimes they can
be completely different with you than they are behind your back. They are the
people that you will find talking about you in negative ways instead of
building you up. These people are doing nothing for you but tearing you down….they
weren’t really a true friend in the first place. Don’t allow someone in your
life who is speaking negatively into who you are as a person. Don’t allow
yourself to be walked over, know when you have to cut these friends off to
protect yourself.
In Your Corner 100% Friend: This
is the friend that is there for you 100%. This is the one that you know you
could go to when you need to get something off your chest, or talk through
something you’re facing and you know they will be 100% real with you. Whether
that means telling you that you are completely wrong and have a bad attitude
about the situation, or that you are doing the right thing and you just need to
keep pressing forward. This is the friend that is in similar season of life as
you and can understand what you’re facing and encountering in life and
encourage and challenge you through it. This is the friend that is cheering you
on from the sidelines, dragging you through the muddy times, counseling you
through the blind times, laughing with you for the good times, and celebrating
you in the even greater times. This is someone who is truly in your corner
because they care more about you and your walk with God than if they hurt your
feelings or if they have to get muddy with you to pull you through. This is the
most selfless friend that you will ever have. This is a friend that you know
you can be 100% honest with because you expect the same from them. This is a
friend that grows you.
is the friend that is there for you 100%. This is the one that you know you
could go to when you need to get something off your chest, or talk through
something you’re facing and you know they will be 100% real with you. Whether
that means telling you that you are completely wrong and have a bad attitude
about the situation, or that you are doing the right thing and you just need to
keep pressing forward. This is the friend that is in similar season of life as
you and can understand what you’re facing and encountering in life and
encourage and challenge you through it. This is the friend that is cheering you
on from the sidelines, dragging you through the muddy times, counseling you
through the blind times, laughing with you for the good times, and celebrating
you in the even greater times. This is someone who is truly in your corner
because they care more about you and your walk with God than if they hurt your
feelings or if they have to get muddy with you to pull you through. This is the
most selfless friend that you will ever have. This is a friend that you know
you can be 100% honest with because you expect the same from them. This is a
friend that grows you.
Now, I can honestly say that I have experienced a friend or
two that would have been in all of these categories. God really opened my eyes
last year, and it was probably one of the biggest and toughest things I learned.
Coming from someone who seriously thrives off of relationship with people, and
always had “many friends” growing up, it was hard to go through this. Really
learning what a true friend was and who was really in my corner made all the
difference in my relationships with people. I have now come to a place where I
realize there are just a few people who I can truly find in my corner, and
those are the people that I want to surround myself with. People that grow me
and challenge my walk with God so that I can be more and more like Him.
two that would have been in all of these categories. God really opened my eyes
last year, and it was probably one of the biggest and toughest things I learned.
Coming from someone who seriously thrives off of relationship with people, and
always had “many friends” growing up, it was hard to go through this. Really
learning what a true friend was and who was really in my corner made all the
difference in my relationships with people. I have now come to a place where I
realize there are just a few people who I can truly find in my corner, and
those are the people that I want to surround myself with. People that grow me
and challenge my walk with God so that I can be more and more like Him.
I challenge you to take a step back and look at who you are
surrounding yourself with. Are there people that feed your negativity? Are
there people that bring you down? Are there people that you are holding onto
when God has removed them from your life? Are there people that challenge you?
Find those people that are in your corner, and cultivate those relationships.
These friends are likely to stick with you throughout life – and who doesn’t
want a life-long-God-ordained friendship?
surrounding yourself with. Are there people that feed your negativity? Are
there people that bring you down? Are there people that you are holding onto
when God has removed them from your life? Are there people that challenge you?
Find those people that are in your corner, and cultivate those relationships.
These friends are likely to stick with you throughout life – and who doesn’t
want a life-long-God-ordained friendship?
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