God is truly stretching me in so many ways right now; I
couldn’t even begin to list everything that God has been teaching me lately.
Although I feel like I am facing some of the hardest things I have ever had to
go through, ironically enough I find comfort in that. Through it all I know
that God is working in my life, He is growing, stretching, and preparing me for
so many different things. Although I don’t understand the lesson in everything
I am going through just yet, I know one day I will look back and realize how
much God grew me.

One of the biggest faith walks my husband and I are going
through right now would be the usual prayer request from just about everyone –
finances. The good old bill paying, grocery buying, car fixing, and surprise
payments that every adult faces in life. Chad and I have one of the most
unreliable cars right now, it literally breaks just about every two to three
months, I am serious it’s on a rotation. That probably is the main source of
where all our financial stresses come from. On top of all our car problems, we
still have bills to pay, groceries to buy, and all those little surprise
expenses that come up.

It used to be, every month I would sit down and work through
our budget trying to estimate how much we were going to be making that month
and then how much we need to pay in bills. By doing that I would try to figure
out how much money we would have left over for groceries, gas, and any bit of fun
we would be able to have that month. I used to stress myself out every month
because nothing was adding up. There would be months where I just couldn’t
figure out how we were going to eat or put gas in the car. I would spend the
whole night in tears stressing about how things were going to work out. Then
after a number of months doing the same thing, I realized that we made it past
all those months just fine. I don’t really know how, because the numbers never
matched, but we made it. So, I finally decided trying to figure it all out was
pointless and was just stressing me out. God would provide. Well, I stopped
trying to figure it all out, but I didn’t really stop stressing about it. Every
month I am back in the same circle of wondering how we are going to make it
through. We have a debt that we are trying to pay off right now that takes an
extra $150 a month so it really causes us to push the limits from pay check to
pay check. It’s not like we aren’t spending our money wisely, it’s just that on
top of all our bills, every month something comes up that we have to pay for
that we weren’t expecting. And every month I worry about it wondering how we
are supposed to make it through.

I have found myself going back in forth in my mind. I know
that I have heard so many stories of checks just being dropped off anonymously
on someone’s doorstep, or cars being given to people out of the blue, or some
divine form of provision. I just didn’t think that was going to be relevant in
my life, I just didn’t see that happening for us. It’s not that I didn’t
believe it could, I just didn’t think it would. So, I guess maybe it was a lack
of faith.

Well, God blew my mind. My husband and I watched kids a
couple of weekends ago, and when asked what we wanted to be paid we just left
it up to them. We wanted to bless them with a vacation away from their kids, as
they haven’t had one in awhile, and in turn we just said whatever was on their
hearts to pay us. Honestly, we didn’t know what to expect from that at all, but
they completely surpassed what we could have thought as well as blessed us in
more ways than one. When we received the check from them, we were shocked and
thankful. We were $60 short to pay our phone bill that following week, as well
as I had just bought a plane ticket to go home at the end of the month and had
to take half of that out of savings. I immediately thought, “Wow, God is so
good! He provided for that bill and the rest of the plane ticket!” Well, when I
sat down to work out the banking information, I realized that we needed that
money to go elsewhere. I couldn’t use it to make up the other half of the plane
ticket from savings; we needed it for the dresses of the wedding I am in,
fingerprints for my substituting application, as well as a few other needs. I
was still thankful nonetheless that God provided! Although, I wasn’t able to
replace the money taken from savings for that plane ticket, I was able to pay
bills and finish my application process. God is good, and He provided.

Later that week, I received something in the mail from my
old health insurance company. Chad brought in the mail with it a confused look
on his face, “Why did we get something from your health insurance company?” The
company stopped providing insurance two months ago, and I had to find another
company so I was immediately worried that I had owed money on a bill or
something of that sort. Chad opens up the mail and just starts shouting, “No
way!” I am still nervous that we have to pay something, so I am eagerly waiting
to figure out what’s going on. Turns out that I had paid too much in monthly
premiums, and they had not covered enough medical things for me that year that
they had to send me a rebate check. How much? The exact amount of my plane
ticket, plus some change! When Chad told me the amount, I was just shocked. All
I could say, as tears filled my eyes is, “That’s just like God.”

That is just like God.

That is just like God to say, “You think that was big? You
think that was surprising? I am not done yet, just you wait and see.” He didn’t
stop with the check from babysitting that covered our bills and those
unexpected expenses; He went further and covered for a plane ticket. The plane
ticket wasn’t even a need that was just a huge desire of mine to go to my best
friend’s wedding. He cared about our needs, and went even further to care about
our desires. We also have a photo shoot scheduled for our anniversary that I
thought we were going to have to cancel, but He provided. That is just like our
God. I felt Him speak to me in that moment, “When you are serving me with
everything that you are, and when you trust me in every way, there is no limit
to what I can do.” That was nothing to Him, for Him to provide that way, in the
most unexpected way – we had absolutely no idea that check was coming! God
cares so much about little old Chad and I that He would provide for not just
our needs, but even the things we want. Wow.

My God is big. In fact, my God is bigger than big.

I am not telling you this just to show you how much God
loves me, and how much He provided for me. But I am sharing this with you
because, guess what? He loves you just as much! He cares about you just as
much! Whatever it is that you need right now, whatever it is that is stressing
you out, He is bigger than that. All you have to do is trust him, completely.
Don’t try to figure it all out, just start thanking Him. God will provide for
you because He loves you. What seems so big to us is nothing to Him.

God is big – bigger than big.