We always talk about how, as Christians, we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard. It’s definitely a topic that I don’t usually find going unmentioned, it’s talked about quite often. Recently I have been discovering just how hard that concept really is.

When it comes to holding yourself to a higher standard concerning the way we talk, the things we do, the people we hang around, activities we involve ourselves in, music we listen to, and shows or movies we watch, I feel like it’s becoming more and more natural to me. When I hear a song that isn’t speaking life giving or encouraging words, I am quick to change the station. I don’t like to allow myself to listen to music that degrades women, talks about sex, drugs, and violence, or has a curse word blaring out at me. That’s not exactly what things I want to speak into my life. Although it is getting harder and harder to keep the same things out of anything on television and in a movie, I try to screen what I am watching as well. I don’t make these decisions because there are necessarily rules that say I have to make them. There isn’t really a list of “do’s and don’ts” when it comes to this. These are decisions that I believe making sets me apart from the world around me. If I am going to speak and say that I know of something different that can really change your life, that it’s worth it all when you take this step, then I need to show people that there really is something different about me. If I tell them there is this God who can heal their broken hearts, put the pieces together and give them something worth living for, I need to give them a reason to think what I am saying is true. If my life is just like theirs, if everything is messy and falling apart just like theirs, if nothing about me is different what is going to attract them to this something that I might have. Nothing. Making certain decisions to hold myself to a higher standard is about becoming the best person that I can be, and having the grounds to say to others that I have something different.

I have been finding it much more challenging to hold myself to a higher standard in situations where people are treating me wrongly or offensively for any reason at all. When someone is saying something hurtful to me, my emotions could easily take over the situation. I am genuinely a very caring person, and I just absolutely love people, so naturally I want to be friends with pretty much every person I meet. I don’t like to lose friendships, and I don’t like to have to let go of friendships for any reason. Caring about people is one of my greatest strengths, but it can also end up being a weakness in certain situations. So when someone says something hurtful towards me, or about me, my emotions immediately rise up because I don’t like when people treat me that way. My flesh immediately wants to respond, and in some cases wants to come back with the perfect comeback to prove what that person is saying is wrong. Sometimes my flesh thinks if I turned around and did the same thing back to them, I might slightly feel better. I know I probably sound like such a mean person by saying that, but you can’t tell me that you never once had a thought to respond that way. I didn’t say anything about acting on it, I just said thinking it. I feel like my emotions are suddenly caught up in the situation and my flesh has all the perfect things to say that could take the feeling of being offended away, and maybe even show that person that what they said about me wasn’t true and was hurtful. But, I know that responding the same way that someone acted towards me is not going to help the situation at all. You’re not really supposed to fight fire with fire; you’re supposed to fight fire with love. (Wow this is ministering to me even as I am writing this).

It’s so much harder, when you feel hurt by things that people are saying, to pick yourself up, ignore your flesh, and be the bigger person. When you feel like people you trusted have broken your trust and have turned around and treated you wrongly for any reason, it’s hard not to allow your emotions to respond and react to the situation. What makes this situation even harder for me is being accused of something that isn’t true. I immediately want to defend myself, I want to just show them how I feel so they understand what they’re doing is wrong and hurtful. But then I would be fighting with fire. Holding yourself to a higher standard isn’t always easy. Sometimes it takes picking yourself up, brushing off the offense, brushing off the hurt, smiling and most importantly letting go and moving forward. Being the bigger person requires you to do the hard thing sometimes. Sometimes it requires you to be mature and respond in love, the same love that God shows you when you make a mistake. Holding yourself to a higher standard means your emotions can’t take control, they can’t try to lead you in any which direction. Even if it means you need to take time and pause, take a deep breath, and remember that what other people think and say of you doesn’t matter. If it’s not true, and you know it’s not true, and you searched your heart and have found that there is not truth, then it doesn’t matter what people think of you. It only matters that you know who you are in Christ Jesus.

I find that it’s so much easier said than done. I have always been one to make friends easily; I just get along with different personalities very well. I care very much about my friendships, so I don’t easily let them go, even when it’s the best thing to do. But I am learning to recognize when certain relationships just shouldn’t be a part of your life anymore. I’m learning to let go of the right to defend myself, and just move forward. I am learning to rest in knowing that God holds me in the palm of His hand even when life seems to be so messy. Even when things are hard and they don’t make much sense I can know that I am doing the right thing in holding myself to a higher standard even when it seems to be the hard thing. Holding yourself to a higher standard goes beyond just what you allow in your life, but how you respond to situations in your life.