My previous post was a bit long, and I didn’t want this post to get lost in the midst of it. I feel like what God has been showing me in this area could take up an entire blog post of it’s own. I feel this one to be equally important as the others, if not more. I think that this perspective is challenged in many ways, and overlooked even more. It’s a very out of the box thinking, and not what we are being told every day, but I believe it’s a concept God desires for us to grasp.

A God Perspective: Quantity is not Quality

One of the biggest areas God has been challenging me in right now would have to be my friendships. I’ve always been able to make lots of friends, in fact in high school I had many friends, none were alike in any way. I loved hanging out with everyone, no matter how different they were. I have always been a social person, and having lots of friends meant a lot to me. I thrived off of building relationships with people, it was something that made me who I am. This trait of mine contributed to my personality and shaped me as a person.

This thinking isn’t entirely wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting to make friends, or wanting to be friends with everyone. I think that God just challenged this perspective of mine. He is shaping me to see more through His eyes.

Since I have such a “woo” personality, my enjoyment of having lots of friends shaped my definiton of friendships. I thought that the amount of friends I had determined how “good” my friends were, as well as how “good” of a friend I was. Having lots of friends meant that people enjoyed having me as a friend. It seemed to make sense to me, but I don’t think this was entirely the definition God had intended for friendships.

I have been experiencing a lot of ups and downs in some friendships I currently have, as well as some friendships I was pursuing. I felt like some were taking me on an emotional roller coaster, instead of building me up I was being discouraged. There was no supporting me in these relationships. In others things weren’t settling right with me, whether it be immaturity, distrust, or something else. But in my desire to be friends with everyone, and look past all the things that could be harmful, I would pursue these relationships anyway.

This is where God began to challenge my perspective. It’s not about the quantity of friendships I have, but it’s about the quality of my friendships. What makes a good friend is someone who encourages, challenges, uplifts, and supports you as a person. And He had to show me this through those “good quality” relationships He already had placed in my life. It took many attempts, I wanted to do it my way, I wanted to choose my friends, I wanted to make more friends. I just continued to get hurt and sit back and wonder why these friendships weren’t working, or why I continued to feel that something wasn’t right. Again, God reminded me, it’s not about the quantity of your friends, it’s about the quality of your friends.

I think it can be a challenge for all of us to look at our friendships in a different way. Are the quality of friendships building us up as an individual? Is there an encouraging environment in the relationships we have? When the Bible talks about guarding our hearts, it doesn’t just mean against worldly things that can bring us harm. It extends to our relationships, we need to guard our hearts from relationships that do not have a quality that would build us up.

I am far from having this lesson mastered, I honestly believe it takes a daily reminder for me. I find myself saying over and over, “it’s the quality of my relationships, not the amount I have.” I look forward to those relationships that God puts alongs side of me with a quality that is built to last.