It will never cease to amaze me how powerful our brains are. I have spent countless hours in counseling over the last two years discovering again and again how intricately created we truly are. Our first experiences are stored in our brain and locked away to teach us how to survive and live through circumstances, whether good or bad. Our childhood shapes the way our brain processes and stores all its information. Whether on purpose or by accident, every little thing we experience in life, whether we think it is small or big, shapes the way we view our circumstances for the rest of our life.
For example, a toddler may approach a set of stairs and not knowing how to properly go down them, may have a foot slip and tumble down. Now every time that toddler approaches the stairs, they fear of falling again. Sometimes, the fear is so great they meltdown at the thought of tumbling down those stairs again. It takes a loving hand to come alongside them and teach them how to go down the stairs safely. It takes someone grabbing their hand, reminding them they are okay, and taking them down the stairs step by step until they develop the confidence to do it on their own. It may take some time for their brain to acknowledge that stairs aren’t always scary. Without that loving hand to come alongside them and teach them differently, they may avoid the stairs all together. Out of fear, they may develop this idea that stairs aren’t safe, so avoiding them is how we survive.
In the same way, our brain stores experiences whether we intend for it to or not.
As a child growing up in a home full of instability, I developed a set of techniques that enabled me to survive some of the hardest circumstances. I developed a sense of order and organization to help me feel in control. I developed a body language that helped me earn love. I strived for excellency and perfection in order to be seen. I placed myself in certain areas of my own life to fill the gaps that I sensed were there not knowing that I did any of it. In the midst of all of this, I developed a view of myself that was less than.
Through varying circumstances I began to adapt the view of myself as unseen, unheard, unimportant. As the years went on, I began to conduct my life as I was nothing more than an object to those around me, because that was how I saw myself. I was an object, tossed around. I was seen only when my behavior merited recognition. Whether it was done with intent or unknowingly, my circumstance shaped the view of myself in such a powerful way that I did not even realize until most recently the way it was effecting my life.
It wasn’t until most recently that I discovered this truth in my heart. It was a painful truth to come across. It was something so deep that it went unnoticed for years and only came out to the surface in certain situations that tested my safety. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered just how much our circumstances can shape who we are.
When I came to this realization I had to laugh through the pain because I realized one thing…God knew. Years ago, God knew that I would finally discover this heart wrenching truth about myself. Years ago, God knew that I would need something else spoken to my heart. Years ago, he had me name this blog “You Are More.” Years ago, He knew.
So as I step foot into 2018 I knew there was no better word or phrase to determine my year than the words that you see right here on this blog. You Are More.
This year will be about discovering the meaning of those words in a deeper and more powerful way than ever before. This year will be about bringing truth to the lie that my heart hid within so long ago. This year will be about bringing freedom to the little girl who never knew just how much she was worth.
This year I am discovering that I am more…and inviting you to discover that You Are More too.