Have you seen that Meme floating around the internet about motherhood? It references making mom friends just on the basis of the relation the two of you have in that you created a tiny human. It makes me laugh every time because it really is so true. Sitting at the playground looking across at another mom it’s like instantly you have this “me too” connection. You get it. You get what it’s like to be the one wrangling toddlers at the playground and it’s an instant connection made.
Motherhood is pretty powerful. I think it’s most powerful when we are willing to share our stories and allow for the opportunity to open that “me too” world even bigger. It’s really easy to share our successes in motherhood, but it can be a lot harder to share our struggles. We don’t want to be judged, we don’t want to be counseled every time…sometimes we just want to be heard.
Today, that’s just what I want to do. I want to give a voice to mom’s who have had struggles in their C-Section journeys and let them share those struggles. In giving them a voice, I hope that it also gives others a voice to say “me too.” Because when we can say “me too” we know we aren’t alone, and there is so much power and freedom in knowing we aren’t the only ones.
After my first C-Section I had a really long emotional recovery. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, that my body couldn’t do what it was supposed to do, and I struggled with feeling judged for the way it ended. I had to constantly remind myself of what really mattered in the situation. I couldn’t even utter the words “gave birth” because it didn’t seem like I truly had done that. I wasn’t prepared for surgery recovery and I wasn’t expecting all the emotions that went into it. I struggled looking back at that moment and seeing joy in the story because I felt like I had failed.
Then going into my second and choosing a C-Section I struggled with the confidence in that decision. Everywhere I turned someone had something to say about my choice. But I wanted to change my experience, and that’s exactly what I did. Coming out of my birth with my daughter was incredible and one of the most beautiful experiences that I wouldn’t trade for anything. It couldn’t have gone more perfect and it’s a sacrifice of labor just as any other. I have become proud of these scars and proud of my story.
C-Section birth is just as beautiful, and it’s time we all embrace that idea. All birth is beautiful.
Here are some stories from other C-Section moms and their struggles that they have faced:
“I had a really hard time with my first. Bonding was nonexistent and I had PPD. I wish someone had told me I did the right thing instead of questioning why every turn.”
Lauren Bellows at Bellows in the Berkshires
“Recovery time physically, breastfeeding complications, and ultimately not feeling good enough. “
Danielle Kurek at Danielle Kurek
“Judgement from “natural birthing” mothers and acceptance of the scaring on my body.”
Hannah at Platforms and Pacifiers
“I’m tired of people telling me “I had it easy.” There was nothing easy about having an emergency C-section in the middle of the night because our plan fell apart. There was nothing easy about recovering from a major surgery with another toddler waiting for me at home.”
Maggie at Mama Sew Crafty
“The guilt and anxiety from have an emergency C-section.”
Joanna at Motherhood and Merlot email@example.com
“Letting go of the desire and dream to birth naturally.”
Jenna Liesch at Jenna Liesch
“The fact that I didn’t get to carry her and don’t remember seeing her until a few hours later.”
Claudia at The Cupcake Home
“My scar. My stomach just won’t ever be the same between the scar and my too stretched skin. It’s caused some real problems, especially in the beginning, in learning to accept my mom bod.”
Sara Morris at Sara Dear
“After my first C-section I definitely had mom’s judging me. They assumed I just didn’t push hard enough or that I gave up too early. But none of that was the case. I had to learn to stay confident in my decision to have a C-section (after three hours of seriously pushing and three DAYS of early labor stages, my son just wasn’t moving past a certain point). I did what was best for me and my baby.”
Abby Barstow at Joyful Homemakers Club
“I didn’t feel like a true woman. I wanted to see what it was like to have my water break, to be in the throes of labor, to feel contractions… I wanted to do an un-medicated natural birth so I could proudly say “I did that.” But my birth plan took a different route. Having a C Section meant I had a healthy child. My pride about my birth plan went out the window when it meant I had the decision of having a healthy baby or not.”
Justine at Sunny in June
“Healing after, attempting but failing at a VBAC.”
Amy Wiggin at The Salt Stories
“I feel fortunate. My C-section experience was healthy and positive, but I had surgery. Sometimes I forgot, early on, that a C-section is still major surgery and I should give my body more grace.”
Catherine Short at A Short Blonde